Now that we're back on the ground if everyone could please add their expenses to the splitwise so we can settle up thanks girlies love you best trip ever <3<3<3 pic.twitter.com/Xs6Csykuoc

— Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) April 15, 2025

well that's not very in love with me of you

— jynx (@jynxbby) April 12, 2025

“i saw u talking to yourself” god forbid a girl asks an expert for advice

— meera ✰ (@hoshifyyy) April 15, 2025

friendzoned him but he was simply not getting the hint so had to pull this move pic.twitter.com/qzGOcCMaih

— deadbeat daughter (@ravadosaslut) April 16, 2025

a fitted sheet in the dryer with other clothing is the nastiest bitch you’ll ever meet. she can’t wait for you to open up that dryer and see that she’s weighing 100lbs soaked

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) April 13, 2025

getting off a commercial flight in 2025 #BlueOrigin pic.twitter.com/JFvX30Iu3k

— T (@teewatterss) April 14, 2025

why is 3 tacos the standard? who tested out the taco numbers and decided on 3??

— Your Grace ✨ (@Sancityx) April 13, 2025

hi, pre-k teacher here. no need to worry nancy, it’s in our curriculum to cover all the letters eventually. this week we’re working on S-T-F-U https://t.co/4WbcdHCNHj

— zoë rose bryant (@zoerosebryant) April 15, 2025

i’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died

— trash jones (@jzux) April 15, 2025

idk why doctors only give stickers to kids? like hello i was also brave today

— ً (@sonohoor) April 16, 2025

I miss doing my taxes in high school when I would be like yep I work at a store in the mall:) and then TurboTax would be like incredible here’s a $600 refund to spend on weed and corduroy pants from Goodwill

— eliza (@elizamclamb) April 15, 2025

me: i wake up at 5:15 & i line edit dissertations for about an hour. once i do the hour of work, i get my first sip of water. i call it my Daily Dehydration Dissertation Celebration

my doctor: please stop doing that

— Meg (@megannn_lynne) April 16, 2025

straight men can’t get behind pronouns until they wanna tell u a story that has other women in it and now suddenly everyone is nonbinary

— regular sadmeister (@gardeinqueen) April 13, 2025

using the kierkegaard dash to show i’m human https://t.co/o3NE53PbBk pic.twitter.com/3aAX5GpBBY

— katie kadue (@kukukadoo) April 14, 2025

Ignoring the reels your friends sent you and obliviously sending them the same reels one week later is grade A high quality friendship stuff

— Gurpriya (@GurpriyaSidhu) April 13, 2025

The most down bad thing I’ve ever been: when I was 25 I was texting a man who lived in another city. Started to absorb all my attention. I thought, “I gotta distract myself.” Decided I wouldn’t text him again until I read Infinite Jest, which is how I read the book in 3 days

— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) April 15, 2025

weekends as an adult are neat because you can either do all your errands or you can do the things you enjoy but either way it’s the wrong choice

— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) April 17, 2025

Outlook: You have 1 unread email.

Me: I do? Where?

Outlook: lol, well that’s the big mystery. Anyway, have a fun day!

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 17, 2025

just cut off a student driver. welcome to the real world bitch pic.twitter.com/vOWIVOPptf

— jynx (@jynxbby) April 15, 2025

“You told your girls already??”

God forbid I report back to head quarters????

— Yo???? (@baddestchef) April 16, 2025

i’m in chicago tipping like 40% on everything bc my new york brain is seeing these prices and thinking “hmmm that can’t be right”

— bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) April 15, 2025

deleting pictures is so difficult for me. i can’t even let go of a random screenshot

— ً (@sonohoor) April 15, 2025