A question I was not prepared for this morning was “Mom, what’s your third favorite color?”

— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) February 26, 2025

kid just said “your skin is kinda like a bag containing your body.” no it is not. we don’t do thinking meat in this house. we don’t think it’s crazy that we’re hurtling through space on a rock. find your wonderment elsewhere

— Sunk Cost Pharisee (@Liamjsm) February 26, 2025

I’ll never forget my daughter got in trouble at school.

Teacher: What body of land is called The Boot?

My little: Italy

Teacher: No, it’s Louisiana.

My little: Oh, you’re local minded.

We got ice cream afterwards.

— Auntie Peach ???? (@kenyaPEACHESk) February 23, 2025

Before yall have children, I just want y’all to know my very sleepy child just cried in the elevator filled with people saying “don’t slap me mommy don’t slap me” ????????????????????????????

I have never slapped this child in my life. Embarrassing.

— shaniqua please (@haarlemb) February 24, 2025

My wife accidentally farted in front of a group of 10yo boys, but I said it was me. I think I finally found my purpose as a parent.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 25, 2025

I love my kids but yesterday I discovered I draw the line at $15 milkshakes.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 23, 2025

my 7yo: that used to be a comfy chair for sitting, but now it's a laundry chair

me:

my 7yo:

me: ouch

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 23, 2025

My favorite is when my son begs me to take him to Target so he can buy something with his own money & then when we get in line he says, “Are you really gonna make me use my own money?”

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 23, 2025

Wife: You ever get mad at your toddler when he does something wrong but then realize he doesn’t know any better?

Me: Sure.

Wife: I mean, look at how old you are and the dumb stuff you do.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) February 24, 2025

8: hey mom, this ice cream cone is my prey

— Marissa ???????? (@michimama75) February 26, 2025

I've resolved to show a greater interest in what my sons are into and say yes to their asks more often.

*7yo asks me to watch him play Roblox*

Me: Not like that.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 23, 2025