Me: What do you want to get for dinner?
Wife: Salads.
Me:
Wife:
Me: Are you sure you don’t want to think about it a little longer?

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 29, 2025

My wife said she needed some vitamin D and I thought she meant actual vitamins. pic.twitter.com/gIde3LuyqV

— Kevín (@KevOnStage) March 28, 2025

doing status checks on my wife and cats pic.twitter.com/irTq5shpSQ

— bort (@millerIowlife) March 25, 2025

My wife just called me Paul Blart Mall Cop. I need to get rid of this mustache NOW.

— Donavon Blart: Mall Cop 2 (@hellodonavon) March 24, 2025

me: how about a quicky?

my wife: as opposed to...?

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 27, 2025

When the PMS hits and your husband is fighting for his life pic.twitter.com/2kwAmB2fJX

— meghan (@deloisivete) March 27, 2025

Husband: It's Opening Day!

Me: *excitedly* You're finally opening all the boxes of stuff you bought a long time ago you just had to have but never opened or used?

Husband: Opening Day for baseball.

Me: I like my version of opening day better.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) March 27, 2025

The strongest marriages are built on mutual respect and love of tacos.

— Schmuckarillo By Morning (@SchmuckOnAHorse) March 28, 2025

every time there is a tornado watch my wife is very concerned and i am thinking about this image pic.twitter.com/1pflMh0FUw

— owen cyclops (@owenbroadcast) March 31, 2025

My wife just walked me through the 500 backyard projects she wants to get done this spring.

— Uncle Cocktail (@StillRadNotaFad) March 25, 2025