The man who wrote and directed “Rust” sincerely wishes he had nothing to do with it.

“I wish I never wrote the damn movie,” Joel Souza told The Guardian, in what may be the most anguished press tour of all time ahead of the film’s U.S. release this Friday.

Souza was injured and cinematographer Halyna Hutchins killed while filming a scene for the movie in 2021, when a prop gun held by Alec Baldwin that was inadvertently loaded with live ammunition discharged.

The bullet passed through Hutchins’ chest and lodged itself in Souza’s shoulder. The injury has reduced Souza’s range of motion and flares up at times in a manner Souza compares to catching on fire.

“You think about the chain of events that started that morning. Bad decision after bad decision was made,” he said.

While he hadn’t intended to finish the film after the fatal incident, Souza told the outlet he did so at the request of Hutchins’ family, who wanted to see her work completed.

“I’d been repelled by the thought of going back, but now it started to appeal,” he explained. “And I couldn’t live with the idea of someone else doing it.”

A settlement reached with Hutchins’ estate, Baldwin, and the production company allows a portion of the film’s earnings to go to Hutchins’ family. As part of the deal, Hutchins’ widower, Matthew Hutchins, also agreed to executive-produce the remainder of the Western.

“Rust” premiered in November 2024 at the Camerimage Film Festival in Poland to friendly reviews. Souza talked with The Hollywood Reporter beforehand and acknowledged the weight of it all.

“When everybody came back, there was an emotional component that wasn’t there before,” he said. “It’s nothing we wanted to really delve into much on set, because otherwise, we’d all be in tears all day. But yeah, it was there. It’s in the eyes, you know? You just can’t escape it, frankly.”

Souza said he understands if people are unsure about watching the finished product, but urged those that do to appreciate the visual aspects and Hutchins’ cinematography.

“Because it’s a very unique opportunity to look through Halyna’s eyes and see how she saw the world,” he said. “How much she is missed is evidenced by the fact that so many people came back to finish this film for her. ”

“Rust” armorer Hannah Gutierrez-Reed was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to 18 months in prison for her role in the incident, the maximum possible sentence.

Baldwin was also charged with involuntary manslaughter, though the charges were dismissed after the prosecution was accused of improperly withholding evidence.