Picture this: You’re at brunch with a friend opening up about her marriage struggles. As she shares, you offer the classic advice: better communication, more date nights, maybe trying couples therapy. All solid suggestions, but now there’s a new player in the relationship-help arena: artificial intelligence.
TikTok is now filled with videos promoting AI as an alternative to traditional therapy. One creator demonstrates using ChatGPT to craft the perfect text: “Help me write a message telling my husband his not listening hurt my feelings, though I’m not angry.” Another creator excitedly promotes ChatGPT as a marriage counseling substitute for those who find therapy unaffordable.
This raises important questions: Are we truly at a point where AI can meaningfully support our most intimate relationships? Could artificial intelligence actually strengthen marriages, or is it merely a quick fix that falls short of addressing deeper issues? Experts weigh in on the ways marital and relationship struggles may benefit or suffer from this tool.
Why AI Is Becoming The New Relationship Counselor
Artificial intelligence is now weaving itself into the delicate fabric of our most intimate relationships, and this includes a growing number of AI-powered relationship tools.
Apps like Replika offer AI companionship through simulated supportive conversations, while platforms such as Paired and Lasting provide couples with personalized guidance and interactive quizzes. More sophisticated options like Woebot apply cognitive-behavioral therapy principles to help users process emotional conflicts. Innovations like The Ring create an “emotional telepathy” between partners by tracking biometric data such as heart rhythms and vocal tones to reveal emotional states even when couples are physically apart.
Why would someone trust something faceless and digital with their deepest relationship struggles?
According to Dr. Judy Ho, board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, the appeal is multi-faceted: “People are drawn to AI because it offers immediate feedback, anonymity and 24/7 access. It seems to also help people feel they are not alone because so much of AI is very conversational in its application. It’s especially appealing for individuals who might be hesitant to engage in therapy due to stigma, cost or logistical barriers.”
Unlike traditional therapy, which requires building rapport over time, AI creates an immediate comfort zone by opening communication patterns and offering evidence-based strategies to improve relationship dynamics. Even seeking out couples therapy can be daunting.
When couples can access relationship guidance privately, affordably and without judgment at any hour of the day, they’re more likely to address issues before they become insurmountable. This accessibility factor alone may explain why many couples are increasingly turning to artificial intelligence as their first line of relationship support.
Privacy Concerns And Personalization Gaps Are A Serious Concern
While AI offers convenient relationship support, serious limitations exist before we crown these digital tools as our relationship gurus. Dr. Ho highlights perhaps the most fundamental flaw: AI simply cannot match the nuanced human intuition, authentic empathy and contextual understanding that meaningful relationship work requires.
“AI tools cannot replace the emotional depth and flexibility of real therapeutic conversations,” Ho emphasizes. “They may oversimplify complex issues like trauma, trust breaches or deep-seated resentment.” This one-size-fits-all approach falls short when addressing the unique complexities of individual relationships, where context is everything.
Privacy concerns represent another major red flag. The intimate details couples share with AI platforms may not have the same protection as information disclosed to human therapists bound by confidentiality laws. In an era of frequent data breaches, these vulnerable disclosures could potentially be exposed.
Christopher Kaufmann, adjunct professor of business at Southern California State University points to this regulatory gap: “We have HIPAA concerns as almost all language learning models learn from the user interactions over time,” he said. “Thus privacy issues are in the grey area here as legislators are fighting to catch up.”
While human therapists operate under strict confidentiality guidelines, AI systems exist in a murky regulatory landscape.
Certified sexologist and relational tech expert Kaamna Bhojwani adds that AI systems remain fundamentally imperfect, often providing information that can be inaccurate or biased. She acknowledges that while basic guidance may be helpful, AI is simply not equipped to handle critical situations involving mental illness, suicide risk or culturally sensitive issues.
Bhojwani raises another concerning possibility: “There is a risk of forming addictive and antisocial relationships with these technologies and viewing them as a substitute instead of a complement to human relationships.”
Rather than strengthening real human connections, over-reliance on AI could potentially undermine the very relationships people are trying to improve. So if you and your partner are on thin ice, think about these limitations before approaching AI with blind enthusiasm.
Will AI Replace Couples Therapy? Experts Say Not So Fast
The growing popularity of AI relationship tools raises the question on whether these digital assistants will replace traditional couples therapy. On balance of AI’s value compared to its inherent limitations, experts say not yet.
“AI is augmenting therapy, not replacing it,” said Ho. “It’s serving as a bridge for many who might otherwise avoid traditional counseling.”
She characterizes AI tools as “first responders” that can effectively handle everyday relationship maintenance and minor issues by providing quick resources. However, when facing deeper wounds and entrenched negative patterns, human therapists remain irreplaceable.
“There is a risk of forming addictive and antisocial relationships with these technologies and viewing them as a substitute instead of a complement to human relationships.”
Bhojwani acknowledges that AI models will continue to improve with more data, making their outputs increasingly sophisticated. Nevertheless, she remains skeptical about AI dominating relationship therapy.
“I think it’s naive to think that any one intervention or tool can ‘fix’ or break a relationship,” Bhojwani said. “Human discernment and agency still play a critical role, especially in how we ask the questions, assess the responses, and implement changes in our lives.”
Kaufman adds an important perspective on boundaries. “As with any relationship, the key is setting boundaries, something we all have challenges with. Using AI to build emotional intelligence skills can be effective, but it’s the user’s responsibility to focus on the person’s behavior and realize how to accept or not accept that behavior.”
The consensus among experts points to a future where AI serves as a valuable complementary tool in relationship health, but requires getting all parties on board, recognizing when it’s inappropriate to use it for help, and seeking professional help when required.