It’s a classic scenario: A group of friends is sitting around a table enjoying some wine or a meal when one of them brings up something that’s bothering them about their partner. Soon, others join in, sharing their own relationship woes, and suddenly it’s a full-on vent session.

But is this kind of airing of grievances incompatible with a healthy relationship?

“Venting about your partner to your friends can be a healthy and necessary emotional outlet, as long as you’re mindful of common pitfalls,” Natalie Moore, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told HuffPost. “Chronic complaining can become problematic in certain instances.”

So, when exactly does venting about your significant other cross the line into unhealthy territory? Below, Moore and other experts break down what you should pay attention to.

1. You don’t address the issues with your partner.

“By complaining constantly to your friends about your partner, you may create just enough emotional release to tolerate the frustrations, yet unknowingly perpetuate a cycle where you never address the issues directly,” Moore said.

Don’t let venting turn into the only way you deal with your negative feelings.

“If you’re regularly bringing the same issues to your friends but avoiding those same conversations with your partner, that tension doesn’t go anywhere — it just simmers,” said Sanah Kotadia, a licensed professional counselor with Balanced Minds Therapy.

Open, honest communication is crucial in all kinds of relationships. Yet many couples are reluctant to engage directly about their grievances.

“I have often heard my clients say, ‘I had no idea you felt that way, if only you had told me, we could have addressed it,’” said Tracy Ross, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples and family therapy. “Don’t let venting contribute to brushing issues under the rug as opposed to working through the issues together.”

2. Your friends only see your partner in a negative light.

“It becomes unhealthy when venting turns one-sided and constant,” said April Davis, the founder of Luma Luxury Matchmaking. “If every time you bring up your partner, you say something negative, it can change how your friends view your relationship. Even when you do solve the problems you’re facing in your relationship, your friends might have a difficult time rooting for someone they’ve only heard bad things about.”

Don’t forget to balance out the negative things you share with discussions about your partner’s positive traits. And be mindful of your audience.

“It’s also a bad idea to complain to family or other people with whom your spouse needs to maintain a healthy relationship,” said Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and author of “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.”

Creating a negative narrative around your partner and relationship can be particularly problematic when coupled with the choice not to address any of your issues with your significant other.

“If you have serious doubts about your relationship, you may want to consider that if you choose to stay with this person, sharing certain information may permanently color your friend’s opinion of both you and your partner,” Ross said, adding that revelations about addiction or betrayal might worry your friends and make them feel inclined to intervene in extreme cases.

“There is a difference between sharing a problem and asking for help and support in figuring out what to do ― and sharing serious issues and then carrying on as if they don’t exist,” Ross noted.

3. You embarrass or shame your partner.

“The most injurious version of this is discussing something that would embarrass or shame your partner, something they wouldn’t want shared with a person outside the relationship,” Hoffman said.

Venting can cross the line into disrespect if you’re not mindful.

“I always tell my clients that if you wouldn’t want your partner sharing those same details with their friends, maybe think twice before you do, especially when it comes to your sex life or deeply personal stories,” Davis echoed.

Consider if your significant other would feel betrayed by what you say.

“If venting is weaponized against your partner, it can lead to serious problems,” Ross said. “For example, ‘I spoke to so-and-so and they agree that you are rude and selfish and we’re in this situation because of you.’”

Building a campaign to make them feel like “the problem” shifts the focus of your venting from seeking support to undermining your significant other.

“This can erode trust and respect, not just within the relationship but also among friends who are hearing these criticisms,” said Joy Berkheimer, a relationship therapist and chief sexologist at the Sexual Wellness Awards.

4. You connect more with your friends than your partner.

“It becomes a red flag when you feel more emotionally connected to your friends than your partner,” said dating coach Sabrina Zohar. “That’s when we have to ask — is this venting, or is this how you’re coping with unmet needs in a relationship you’re too scared to leave?”

She emphasized that it’s a problem when venting becomes your default, and you talk about your partner more than you talk to them.

5. You dominate conversations and become an energetic drain.

“Friendships thrive on reciprocity,” Moore said. “We need to feel that our friends are there for us. If you dominate interactions with your own problems and don’t reciprocate that support, over time, your friendships will suffer.”

She also recommended paying attention to whether you bring only negative energy to your interactions with friends.

“When you frequently complain about the hard parts of your relationship but forget to share what you’re grateful for, this can create a situation where your friends begin to experience you as unpleasant to be around,” Moore said.

6. You paint yourself as ‘right’ all the time.

“It’s worth paying attention to how the venting is shaping your own narrative,” Kotadia said. “If you’re only focusing on what your partner is doing wrong and not reflecting on the bigger picture, it can lead to more resentment and distance.”

Over time, this phenomenon might lead to a split between the version of your relationship that you talk about and the version you experience every day.

“Everyone knows that in relationships, ‘it takes two to tango,’” Moore said. “If you consistently position yourself as being right and your partner as being wrong, it will be obvious that you’re not taking responsibility for your part in disagreements.”

She noted that friends might sense there’s more to the story sometimes, but feel pressure to always take your side.

“It’s dangerous when the ‘venting’ becomes a way to weaponize your story ― to stack evidence about how right you are and how wrong they are,” Zohar said. “That creates narrative confirmation bias. You stop being curious, and you start looking for proof you’ve been wronged.”

Don’t look at your relationship as a courtroom drama with your friends as the jury. Look at yourself as part of a team and someone with the power to reevaluate communication patterns and develop more constructive ways to approach challenges.

“If venting leads to isolation or reinforces a sense of victimhood, it can hinder personal growth and the development of healthier interpersonal dynamics,” Berkheimer said.

7. You ignore your friends’ advice.

“Your friends likely want to help you resolve your frustrations with your partner,” Moore said. “If they give helpful advice and you never act on it, they may feel resentful that they’re expending time and energy attempting to help you and you’re not invested in doing anything to improve your situation.”

This tendency is harmful to your friendships and your pursuit of your relationship goals.

“It’s a problem when venting turns into rehearsing your resentment, just to feel momentarily validated, but never actually doing anything to change the pattern,” Zohar said. “That’s emotional stagnation.”