Me, talking to a new mom friend: It seems like you really have your life together.

Friend: Thank-you!

Me: Yeah, this isn’t going to work out.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 17, 2018

I had nothing to bring to a friend so I did what any mom would do for a playdate, I brought her a couple juice boxes and some string cheese

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 27, 2022

Missed connection: you were the mom at the Scholastic Book Fair looking at the Encanto book. I was the mom who started sing We Don’t Talk About Bruno and dancing. I don’t think you meant to back away from me slowly…I think you wanted to know my name. Please I need a friend

— Marissa ???????????? (@michimama75) March 2, 2022

Hi I'm your low-bar mom friend who doesn't do birthday parties, photos with Santa, Elf on the Shelf, Disney, professional family portraits (forget matching outfits), or any activities for toddlers that aren't drop-in. It's OK! The kids are alright. Go ahead and sit down.

— sarah (@sarahradz_) December 11, 2023

Dropped my son off at his friend’s house, thinking I wouldn’t see anyone. Then the mom came out to say hi.

Not sure she was impressed with my “I’d rather be day drinking” tank top.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 14, 2022

I had a party and a friend said, “I wish I could just let my house look like this when I had people over,” and while some
may be insulted, I’m just going to need more friends like her.

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 20, 2024

Somewhere in a Target, on an aisle full of wine, clothed in a stained, ratty T-shirt, my future mom best friend just gave her kids and that judgmental old lady the finger.

— Maryfairyboberry????????♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 24, 2019

I love having mom friends.

Mom Friend: "My 2yo was watching TV so I decided to clean up. I only got half the room clean, but I did find a few floor pretzels and ate them."

Me: "Were they good?"

Her: "No, but I hadn't eaten lunch yet."

Me: "Sounds like a win to me."

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 5, 2020

Looking for a mom friend not to party with but who I can text occasionally to ask, “Is it just me or...?”

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) February 2, 2021

My friend told me her 2yo was loudly singing Baby Shark at the park and she jokingly said to another mom there “hope you like Baby Shark” and the mom said “we don’t listen to children music” if you’re wondering what it’s like trying to make mom friends in public.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 2, 2022

The irony of wanting to be friends with someone I saw wearing an "antisocial moms club" shirt at the store

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 4, 2023

Veteran Parenting Tip:

Friends don't make friends buy school fundraiser wrapping paper.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 2, 2023

I’ve had a name of my daughters friend in my phone for a year now but only listed as “Addie’s mom” and I literally have no idea what this woman’s name is and I talk to her all the time at school functions and birthday parties THIS is the hardest part of parenting

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 16, 2024

*sitting in the farthest corner of the soccer field with my book and earbuds* I wonder why none of the other moms have tried to be my friend

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 20, 2024

I was in the ocean with a mom friend and our kids all swam out to us like a school of fish and she lied and said I’m peeing leave us alone and they said they didn’t care and even tho her plan failed I admired her tactic.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) January 2, 2023

Had so much fun!! At the water park with four friends and our collective nine kids!! We had at least 15 conversations that were about 30 seconds long, none were complete thoughts, quality mom friend time is the best.

— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) August 8, 2023

I told my mom friend she may not want to come for breakfast because my dog has been skunked and my house reeks and she said it’s been so long since someone has made her a cup of coffee nothing was going to stop her.

— Aileen Weintraub (@AileenWeintraub) February 12, 2020

We all need at least one friend to whom general rules don’t apply.

— Maddy ???? (@MadHatterMommy) May 1, 2024

really need a codependent lush mom friend whose impulsivity and crassness provides a nice foil for my overthinking priggish nature

— am rod (@arod_twit) July 26, 2024

A friend showed me her walk in closet and I immediately asked which drawer her chocolate was in, without blinking she responded, top drawer on the left, because moms get moms

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 26, 2022

o no I tried to make a mom friend at the bus stop and then she asked me to join a committee

— Meg Lemke (@meglemke) September 21, 2023

A good mom friend will volunteer to be on your kid’s emergency contact list for school. A great mom friend will laugh and not judge you when you tell her she’s already been on the emergency contact list for three years.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) September 22, 2020

Mom friends are the nursing bras of friends. They support and comfort a body that no longer feels like your own and provide cover when you’re feeling exposed. Even when, technically you don’t need them anymore, you never want to let them go.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) October 6, 2020

Making friends as an adult is hard. I’m too tired for any pretense. A mom at my kids daycare asked me to hang out so I asked her if she wants to get Korean BBQ and complain about our loved ones.

Are you my people!? Declare yourself now!

— Wendy Hasson MD (@WendyHassonMD) January 10, 2024

i met my mom bestie when our daughters were 12 & 15 months at storytime at the library. i got her phone number. i texted her about a weekday event that had mimosas and said "do you wanna meet up with the babies and day drink?" and now we have been bffs for 5 years. https://t.co/HPVYy677Ud

— emily may (@emilykmay) January 10, 2024

Moms will literally be to their friends like, “This was the best night of my life! We need to do this more often! You’re seriously my soul mate!” and then not talk to them for 6 months.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) July 23, 2023

I like having fellow toddler moms as friends because I’ll text them like “sorry, we are going to be 25 minutes late to the park, we saw an ant.” And they’re like “no problem we’re gonna be 30 bc he had to put on his own shoes.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 25, 2023

I finally made a mom friend at preschool drop-off; she clearly forgot my name and calls me Christine. So for the next 7+years I shall be known at school as Christine, no further questions!

— sarah (@sarahradz_) November 21, 2019

Signed 5 out of school early for an appointment and saw another mom signed her kid in late and the reason was “Monday” so I’m on a quest to find her and force her to be my friend.

— Marissa ???????????? (@michimama75) May 2, 2022

Best thing about having a mom friend you’ve known since kindergarten is when she is complaining about her kid you can remind her she was way worse and karma’s a bitch and then she doesn’t feel so bad.

— Aileen Weintraub (@AileenWeintraub) February 17, 2020