I remember when South Africa set the bar high with car-mounted flamethrowers. LA’s regulatory environment isn’t quite ready for it yet, but here comes Uber for private security.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you needed an armed bodyguard complete with a private motorcade to escort you in Los Angeles, there’s now an app for that.

“Protector,” which launched Tuesday in LA and New York City, gives users on-demand access to armed ex-military and law enforcement to chauffeur them around town, making the process of hiring elite security professionals as easy as booking a ride through a rideshare app.

The app touts easy mobile booking 24-hours in advance, with a same-day option coming soon, officials said.

Standard service includes a Protector and a black car (Escalade/Suburban) starting at $100 an hour, with a 5-hour minimum.

Protector is also set to launch another product, Patrol, in Los Angeles. This platform will enable neighborhoods to organize and fund community security efforts, offering real-time tracking and enhanced coordination.

I’ve seen more armed private security in Los Angeles than in some third-world kleptocracies. Mall cops in body armor and with heavy firepower and black cars can be frequently seen in the wealthier neighborhoods of L.A.

How many of them actually know what they’re doing is anybody’s guess, but they’re prepped for battles that only happen in movies or south of the border, but these days the border isn’t as far south as it used to be.

So why not Uber for bodyguards and then Discord for neighborhood watches and community guards.

People have learned that they can’t count on law enforcement as long as it’s answerable to lefty politicians who believe that criminals are an oppressed underclass and they’re finding alternatives to law enforcement.