Ever since Rep. Mike Johnson came out of nowhere to be the House Speaker, the media’s legacy institutions in New York and D.C. scrambled to find dirt on a guy they had never heard of before.

And the results have been incredibly lame.

But since the media is desperate to produce material, they have to publish them anyway. Here’s the latest entry.

Speaker Mike Johnson’s Favorite Way to Dodge Questions: Answering the Phone – New York Times

Yes, that’s an actual New York Times headline, but it’s part of a wonderful catalog of lame hit piece headlines.

New House speaker Mike Johnson praised ‘18th-century values’ in speech – The Guardian

Speaker Mike Johnson explained why his ‘adopted’ Black son is not involved in his public life – Business Insider

Speaker Mike Johnson Explains Low Profile of ‘Adopted’ Black Son – Daily Beast

Inside the Shady Finances Behind Mike Johnson’s Longtime Pastor – Daily Beast

Mike Johnson is a Funny Name for Mike Johnson – Michael Ian Black

Just shocking stuff, but most shockingly of all, he answers the phone.