How did Jeffrey Epstein, who had already tried to commit suicide and was supposed to be on suicide watch, manage to kill himself in one of the most secure detention facilities in the country? Much like how he was able to evade sex offender registration in three states, it’s a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and locked up in a black box.

The DOJ’s latest report on the Epstein death blames an inexplicable series of errors.

No one at the facility did what they were supposed to do is the bottom line. Not only did they not monitor Epstein, but they gave him plenty of bed linens with which to hang himself.

For some mysterious reason, Epstein was inappropriately taken off suicide watch and the guards lied about conducting rounds that they didn’t conduct. For some reason, he wasn’t housed with a cellmate, and then there was a malfunction of the video recording system…

“Recorded video evidence for August 9 and 10 for the SHU area where Epstein was housed was only available from one prison security camera due to a malfunction of MCC New York’s Digital Video Recorder system that occurred on July 29, 2019. While the prison’s cameras continued to provide live video feeds, recordings were made for only about half the cameras.”

Nothing suspicious here. Just a multiplication of convenient errors and linens.

“The combination of these and other failures led to Epstein being unmonitored and alone in his cell, which
contained an excessive amount of bed linens, from approximately 10:40 p.m. on August 9 until he was
discovered hanged in his locked cell the following day”

Excessive linens have taken a lot of lives. Maybe we need linen control.

The upshot as usual is that there’s nothing suspicious in the suspicious death and we should all relax because this was just one of those things that happens when one of the most dangerous men in the world commits suicide before he can name names.