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Jun 3, 2025  |  
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Daniel Greenfield


NextImg:Bernie Sanders Runs for Senator-for-Life

Sen. Bernie Sanders, whose legislative career consisted largely of renaming post offices and proposing assorted socialist nonsense that even his party wouldn’t touch (most recently, a four-day work week) has announced that he intends to run for another term to continue his important work of simping for Hamas and ghostwriting books about how he’d run the country if we ever had a Communist revolution.

As a millionaire with three homes and a non-existent track record, the 82-year-old senator, aspiring to be an 88-year-old senator, is everything his younger self used to criticize.

There is no shortage of useless New England senators from small states whose chief function is to take up space (Joe Biden, call your office) and collect bribes (Joe, really, call, now), but a trick of fate made Bernie a national figure when Elizabeth Warren refused to run against Hillary Clinton forcing the leftist gang to find a last minute replacement who turned out to be Bernie.

And that’s how Bernie became a millionaire while losing his soul. Despite being depicted as the avatar of integrity, Bernie has consistently jettisoned whatever principles and positions he had that didn’t fit in with his new masters. He decided he liked identity politics, open borders and Hamas after initially opposing them.

The dirty little secret isn’t just that Bernie’s a greedy little Commie who likes his dachas, it’s that it doesn’t take all that many struggle sessions to get him to toss aside his vaunted principles.

And Bernie’s current principle is that as an otherwise useless human being, he has no function except to remain in D.C. Having been unemployable before D.C., he can’t think of anything he’d like to do beyond it. Like the rest of the kleptocracy, he has to stay in office until he dies because he’s mutated into a pure swamp creature.

So Bernie is running for senator-for-life. It’s just one of the privileges of power. Not for the people, but for the privileged.

Arise o wretched of the earth and go to the Senate cloakroom.