If Joe Biden had really wanted to win in 2024, he should have run in Syria. But the Al Qaeda/ISIS HTS Jihadis got there first, took over Syria (with Turkish backing) and excitingly just held their first election.

I know the suspense is killing you. Which is still better than Al-Jolani or whatever the Al Qaeda leader serving as president is calling himself these days… killing you.

Syria experienced a free and fair election in which the Druze and the Kurds couldn’t vote since the ‘voting’ in their areas was postponed.

The voting took place under a decree issued by President Al-Qaeda, I’m sorry Ahmed al-Sharaa (that’s what Al-Jolani began calling himself once he bought a suit, it gets confusing when terrorists take over countries) and was overseen by the fair and impartial Higher Committee for the Syrian People’s Assembly Elections appointed by the Al Qaeda leader.

The candidates, who are members of the Syrian ‘Electoral College’, were chosen by the ‘Electoral College’ except for the one-third who will be appointed by President Al Qaeda. (Sorry, Al-Jolani, no sorry, Ahmed al-Sharaa.)

Al-Sharaa called the elections in which the votes didn’t matter and the results were meaningless, just like Democratic Party primaries, “a historic moment for Syrians” in which they once again got to experience the sheer irrelevance of rigged elections.

So, Ahmed al-Biden for Syrian president in 2028. Finally an election he can win.