Neocon Don mulls crushing Iran with big, beautiful bombs.
Communist cries like a bitch after defending terrorism.
We finally found a "No Kings" protester who's actually (kind of) hot.
One good reason to watch the WNBA.
It's Friday, June 20, 2025
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Things are not going well for Iran: They're losing the war against Israel. Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei is 86—even older than Joe Biden—and is believed to be in a "difficult mental state" due to the fact that most of his senior commanders have been killed. In one instance, Mossad agents hacked into Iran's military communications system and lured more than 20 members of the air force's senior staff into a fake meeting in a bunker before destroying the bunker in an airstrike. It's not uncommon for individuals suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's disease to behave erratically when their routines are disrupted. For example, the supreme leader keeps insisting the Iranian "conquest" over Israel is "imminent," raising serious questions about his grasp of reality and fitness to serve.
For the good of the country, Khamenei must go. (He might already be dead by the time you read this.)
Career-ending promotions: Most organizations struggle to retain talent, but the Islamic Republic is struggling to stop its military leaders from dying. Earlier this week, Maj. Gen. Ali Shadmani, the most senior commander in Iran, was killed in an Israeli airstrike just days after he was promoted to replace his predecessor, who was killed in the first wave of attacks.
All eyes on Neocon Don: Will the United States help Israel finish the job by dropping our big, beautiful, bunker-busting bombs on the Fordow nuclear site in Iran? The world is waiting to see what America's supreme leader, Donald Trump, is going to do. We might already know the answer by the time you read this, but in the meantime, Trump seems to be enjoying the suspense. "You don't know that I'm gonna even do it," he told a filthy journalist at the White House. "You don't know. I may do it. I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I'm gonna do. I can tell you this, that Iran's got a lot of trouble."
Ladies and gentleman, the Democrats: They were hoping to spend the entire week denouncing fascism and whining about civility after some guy named Alex Padilla, who is apparently the senior U.S. senator from California, was forcibly removed from a DHS press briefing he attempted to disrupt last Thursday. Then Israel bombed Iran. That didn't stop Democrats from shrieking about how Padilla-Gate was the worst assault on American democracy since 9/11, but no one cared, not even their friends in the media. Here's what else they've been up to these past few days:
We finally found a 'No Kings' protester who is actually (sort of) hot: The anti-Trump protests that took place over the weekend featured a lot of upside-down American flags. For some reason, the mainstream media have not thrown a tantrum like they did in 2024 after the New York Times unearthed a photo (taken years earlier) of an inverted flag flying outside the home of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. That upside-down flag, apparently placed by Alito's wife to annoy her obnoxious liberal neighbor, was a "jaw-dropping" and "disgusting" display of "insurrectionist" sentiment. It was an assault on the U.S. Constitution, the moral equivalent of digging up George Washington's grave and crucifying a bald eagle hatchling on a cross made out of his leg bones.
Read more: The Founders Are Weeping
While perusing countless photos from the "No Kings" protests, we couldn't help but notice that none of the participants were particularly attractive or under the age of 65. Our journalistic duty compelled us to spend hours upon tedious hours sifting through every available photo on the internet.
We searched...
... and searched...
... and searched...
... and searched...
... and searched...
... and searched...
... and searched...
... until we finally found a few that might be (almost) considered (sort of) hot.
It's the best we could do.
FLASHBACK: We Finally Found a 'Free Palestine' Protester Who Is Actually Kind of Hot
In related news: Some idiot started a Change.org petition to ban one of the WNBA's hottest players, Sophie Cunningham, for her "repeated displays of unsportsmanlike conduct" during a recent game. The Indiana Fever babe was ejected after committing a hard foul on a Connecticut Sun player in apparent retaliation for the team's incessant physical harassment of her star teammate Caitlin Clarke. Stay strong, Sophie!
Twitter: @AndrewStilesUSA
Email: stiles@freebeacon.com
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