Climate freaks pave rainforest, vandalize electric cars.
The White House plot to hide Biden's decline, exposed.
The Democratic Party's "deep bench," analyzed.
Harris makes demands, attempts to explain AI.
It's Friday, March 14, 2025
The federal government might shut down at the end of the day if Congress does nothing, which it excels at doing. Not the entire government, just the "non-essential" parts, which means hundreds of thousands of bureaucrats would get a paid vacation. Honestly, who cares? Nothing really matters when…
President Donald Trump checked out some Teslas at the White House this week and was evidently impressed by the electric cars and their digital control panels. "Everything's computer," he said after getting behind the wheel. "That's beautiful. Wow." No one back in 2015, when Obama was still president and ranting about so-called climate change, would have predicted that the politics of electric cars would completely transform to the point where Fox News's Sean Hannity was bragging about owning one and a bunch of mostly peaceful left-wing terrorists were blowing them up in protest.
Correction: Almost no one.
Friendly fire: Timothy Tees, a loyal Democrat from Portland, Ore., had his Tesla vandalized last month by a masked vigilante who spray-painted the word "Nazi" on the hood of the car. He was pretty annoyed. "What I would say to [the mostly peaceful terrorist] is like, hey, look, dude, if you want to protest, I'll go and protest with you," Tees told a local news outlet. "The $255 I spent to clean my car, I could have donated to the DNC, or you know, to a number of other organizations that could have done something a little bit more constructive." Sorry about the car, Tim, but what did you think "resistance" meant? Vibes? Papers? Essays?
Bike check: Trump met with NATO secretary-general Mark Rutte on Thursday. They presumably had much to discuss, but it's worth remembering that Rutte is a Dutch fancy boy who loves bicycles, the embodiment of European decadence and decline. If the goal of NATO is to project strength and confidence, Rutte needs to go. Sanna Marin, the youthful and attractive former prime minister of Finland, would make an excellent replacement.
You can't make it up: There are few things climate activists love more than holding conferences to congratulate themselves on saving the world. This year's United Nations Climate Change Conference will be held in Belém, Brazil. To accommodate the more than 50,000 attendees—along with their private jets and SUV motorcades—local officials are bulldozing tens of thousands of acres of protected Amazon rainforest to make way for a new four-lane highway called "Freedom Avenue."
Related: Lydia Mugambe, the United Nations judge and 2017 human rights fellow at Columbia University featured in last week's newsletter, has been convicted of slavery after abducting a young woman from Africa and forcing her into domestic servitude.
Crucial context: On the subject of freaks who love the environment, CNN's chief climate correspondent, Bill Weir, was ridiculed this week for falsely accusing the Trump administration of making a typo. Weir is best known for conceiving his son (River) in a lighthouse and for celebrating the child's birth by writing a letter apologizing for bringing him into a polluted world where greedy corporations keep "cutting down jungles."
Flashback: CNN Truth Warrior Brian Stelter Courageously Spell-Checks Trump's Twitter Feed
BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: The Washington Free Beacon obtained an advance copy of Jake Tapper's forthcoming book about President Joe Biden's cognitive decline and the White House plot to hide the truth from the American people. We were particularly disturbed by the section on Biden's conduct leading up to the disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2021. Here's a taste:
President Joe Biden sat hunched at the head of the table. He puzzled over his daily brief, now delivered in the form of a sound book for toddlers. "A is for Afghan—A is for—A is for—A is for—A—A—A—A is for Afghanistan." It drove his aides crazy, but they also knew the sacrifice was worth it. For the moment, at least, this diminished man they had taken to calling "the commander in corpse" would be too occupied to follow up on his latest obsession: filming a "hot sex tape" with Dr. Jill. Among the senior advisers, only Hunter had taken it seriously, but the first son had other things on his mind today.
"Dunkirk," Hunter said, slapping the table with authority. "We can do what they did in Dunkirk." He had recently seen the Christopher Nolan film, he explained.
"Brilliant," the president replied. "D is for Dunkirk. Where's the secretary of defense?"
Nobody had seen or heard from Lloyd Austin in nearly a month. His designated proxy, Al Sharpton, was hosting a podcast in the adjoining room. Jake Sullivan started to say something, but Hunter cut him off. The first son proceeded to outline his plan to acquire a fleet of luxury speedboats from a sheik in Dubai who owed him a favor. They could be loaded up with troops, then airlifted to Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan. "It's amazing," Hunter said. "I know a guy who can get us into the best strip club. You can tip in Bitcoin."
Read the whole thing here.
FACT CHECK: Brittany Pettersen, a Democratic congresswoman from Colorado, claimed this week that her party has a "deep bench of talented leaders … who represent the vast majority of American values."
We rate this claim 4 Flaming Clintons.
What they're saying: "The Republican Party is obsessed with culture war issues," said Rep. Sarah McBride (D., Del.), who identifies as a transgender woman. "It is weird and it is bizarre."
By the numbers: According to a recent Gallup poll, 79 percent of Americans—and 67 percent of Democrats—said transgender athletes should not be allowed to compete in women's sports.
Insightful analysis: The "weird" attack didn't work in 2024, when Democrats picked Gov. Tim Walz (D., Minn.), the prancing moron best known for pretending to hunt and putting tampons in the men's rooms, to be their designated attack dog whose alleged Midwestern charm would help the party win back working-class male voters. Maybe it'll work now, in a pantsuit?
Ladies and gentleman, the benchwarmers: Walz is toying with the idea of running for president in 2028. So is Pete Buttigieg, who said this week he won't be running for governor or U.S. senator in Michigan after relocating there from Indiana in 2022. He also deleted the pronouns from his social media bios. The former mayor of South Bend—the 4th-largest city in the 17th-most-populated state—did well on paper in the 2020 Democratic primary. He was adored by liberal donors in the "boat shoe" strongholds of Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, and Nantucket, but failed to receive a statistically significant share of the black vote. One black voter, Barack Obama of Martha's Vineyard, said he didn't think Buttigieg (5'8") could win a presidential election because he's "too short." Meanwhile, black voters from South Bend said they "ain't ever seen the dude" when Buttigieg was mayor and accused him of abandoning their community.
Kamala Harris might run for president again, which would be hilarious, but first she has to make a decision about the California governor's race. Eugene Daniels, the embattled president of the White House Correspondents' Association, exclusively reported last week that Harris was recognizing the importance of understanding what needs to be done in terms of thinking seriously as well as decisively about her political future. Harris, who served as the Biden administration's artificial intelligence czar, made some insightful remarks about Doritos this week at the HumanX technology conference in Las Vegas.
If Harris does run again, she could benefit from the valuable experience she gained the first time around, especially when it comes to chair selection. The Hill reports that Harris, who is even shorter than Buttigieg, insisted that every chair she sat in for a televised interview meet the following specifications: "Leg height no less than 15 inches; floor to top of seat height no less than 18.9 inches; arms on chairs may not be very high, arms must fall at a natural height; chairs must be firm."
Don't forget… about "Greasy" Gavin Newsom and the deep bench of aesthetically challenged Democratic governors from failing blue states that people keep fleeing in droves. That includes Phil Murphy of New Jersey, the former Goldman Sachs executive, and J.B. Pritzker of Illinois, the fat billionaire who looks like a lesbian.
What else happened:
• Iconic Trump Photo, Decried by Journalists as 'Dangerous' Propaganda, Wins Journalism Award
Headline of the week:
"Death-Defying Neuroscientist Turned OnlyFans Model Confronts Life With Memory Loss—After Brutal Bike Accident Caused by a Pigeon." Courtesy of the New York Post, obviously.
Twitter: @AndrewStilesUSA
Email: stiles@freebeacon.com
If you have friends, tell them to subscribe
to the Stiles Section newsletter.
Send them here.
Stiles Section archive available here.
