Hunter Biden, the "former" crackhead who recently served as a senior adviser to the president, ranted about politics this week in an extended interview with some Gen Z YouTuber with a mustache. He threatened to get elected president and "fucking invade" El Salvador to bring all the illegal immigrants so they can get back to work mowing our lawns, building our houses, and cleaning up after our crack-fueled orgies at five-star hotels.
But that's not the main reason why Hunter was so agitated. Most of his ire was directed at other Democrats who have been more successful than him at leveraging their political connections to amass large personal fortunes. Hunter, who is dead broke and struggling to keep up with his legal bills and child support payments to the daughter he tried to disown, lashed out at "the Anita Dunns of the world," referring to his father's former adviser and powerhouse political consultant who "has made $40–$50 million off the Democratic Party."
Dunn has indeed raked in millions via her public affairs firm SKDK, which advises an array of corporate clients, liberal interest groups, and Democratic politicians. Financial disclosures released in 2022, when Dunn formally joined the Biden White House, revealed that the investment portfolio she shares with her husband, Democratic superlawyer Bob Bauer, was worth as much as $48.2 million. Dunn is best known for providing "damage control" advice to Hollywood pervert Harvey Weinstein. Her relationship with Democratic pervert Jeffrey Epstein has not been thoroughly investigated.
Hunter is understandably disgusted at the thought of someone using their political connections to get rich, especially when he—the lowly scion of a powerful Democrat—had to claw his way to the top and earned everything on his own through hard work and sheer force of will. How else would he have gotten that no-show gig on the Burisma board worth $1 million per year? Because of his name? Please. As Hunter has previously explained, he got into Yale Law School because of the amazing poem he wrote on his application. The fact that his father was chairman of the Senate judiciary committee at the time was just a weird coincidence, as was the sudden collapse in demand for Hunter's paintings that occurred around the same time his father stopped running for reelection.
Having worked so hard his entire life, one can see why Hunter would be especially resentful of the former Obama bros who started Pod Save America and got rich despite their lack of talent by exploiting their political connections. "Four white millionaires that are dining out on their association with Barack Obama from 16 years ago, living in Beverly fucking Hills, telling the rest of the world what black voters in South Carolina really want," said Biden, who is also white and used to be a millionaire on account of his association with Joe Biden.
Biden was referring to Jon Favreau, Tommy Vietor, Jon Lovett, and Dan Pfeiffer, whose political insights are almost as bad as their insufferable banter. They're the sort of elite liberal pundits who thought D-list candidates such as Beto O'Rourke and Kamala Harris would be formidable contenders for the Democratic nomination in 2020, and Hunter is quite reasonably confused as to why anyone would ever listen to them. He's also upset because the bros were among the many Democratic commentators who called on Joe Biden to drop out after the infamous debate because he was clearly unfit to serve as president.
" How arrogant do you have to be to be Pod Save America?" Hunter ranted on Tuesday. "Like we've designated them as the guys who are gonna save America, you know, like four guys living in West Hollywood making a million dollars apiece or more." It's unclear why Hunter keeps bringing up the fact that the Obama bros all live in Los Angeles, where he spent a considerable amount of time smoking crack with prostitutes at various luxury hotels until they kicked him out, at which point he would often accuse the hotel staff of being racist toward his black drug dealers.
Hunter isn't wrong, obviously, but neither are the Pod Save America dorks, who fired back at the degenerate scion for being a raging hypocrite who doesn't know when to shut up. "You were on the board of Burisma because of who your dad is, and that is what people hate about Washington," Vietor said in response to Hunter's attack on their respectable grifting operation. "This sense of entitlement, from Biden, from his family, the inner circle, that he was, like, owed the presidency, owed a second term, it's just very fucking grating."
Lovett pointed out, correctly, that no one should ever listen to Hunter, who was a "terrible liability" throughout his father's presidency due to his atrocious behavior and insatiable grifting. "You should be ashamed of the ways in which you made your father's political life worse," Lovett said. "And, like, the idea that we're going to listen to you now, like, give me a fucking break. It's ridiculous."
The pod bros have become fabulously rich since launching their podcast empire in 2017. Vietor and Favreau shelled out roughly $3.5 million each in 2020 for nearby mansions in the posh LA neighborhood of Hancock Park. Favreau listed his for sale in 2023 after buying a massive 11,000-square-foot home for $10 million. Information about these real estate transactions is hard to come by on the internet, as it appears the bros have gone to considerable effort to conceal their wealth from public view. According to the New York Times, the bros have a multiyear deal with SiriusXM worth around $150 million, and have also received funding from George Soros's investment firm.
Some are describing this feud as "the Iran-Iraq war of undeserved prominence," but we can't help feeling a little sorry for Hunter, who is clearly desperate. He needs to find a way to make enough money to support the lavish lifestyle that he and his family of freeloaders have grown addicted to now that Sleepy Joe no longer has any influence to peddle. It would be tragic if they weren't such loathsome characters.
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After listening to Hunter speak so passionately about smoking crack during the YouTube interview, which reminded us of his many eloquent descriptions of smoking crack in his flop of a memoir, we're confident he'll be able to find a lucrative venture as an influencer of sorts. Rather than pretending to be an addict in recovery, Hunter should embrace his passion for crack cocaine and create a show that millions of Americans would pay to watch.
Top Chef (Street Heat Edition): Skilled amateur cooks compete against each other in a series of challenges to see who impresses the judges by whipping up the purest, frostiest rock under pressure. Hunter will serve as host and join the judges' table alongside the strippers he took home the night before.
Crack'd History: Hunter smokes crack and lectures the American people about historical events. What's not to love? The episode on Rosa Parks is our favorite.
Hot Rocks: Hunter interviews celebrity guests while smoking increasingly potent crack concoctions. The Meryl Streep episode will have you in stitches.
