Say it ain’t so, Elly.

Say you didn’t sell your baseball soul (you know, the part that holds your wallet) to an investment firm when you were a Minor League prospect fresh off a $65,000 signing bonus.

Say you aren’t causing those operating that investment firm to challenge the world record for slapping high fives after you became a Major League sensation with the ability to make millions beyond your current salary of $452,907.

Oh, well.

There I was in Cincinnati on the night of Tuesday, June 6, at Great American Ball Park, and everywhere I looked, 22,602 Reds fans were losing their minds. They did so whenever this 21-year-old infielder did more than breathe.

He was from the Dominican Republic. He stood 6-foot-5, weighed 200 pounds, wore dreadlocks and threatened to walk into the stadium from imaginary cornfields on the other side of the nearby Ohio River.

He had the ability to slam bombs from his bat as a lefty or a righty. His arm fired rockets disguised as baseballs. He could field, and he could run.

When it came to the latter, you had the feeling he could sprint past the wind, especially if they both were racing from first base to home plate.

This was Elly De La Cruz making his rookie debut in Major League Baseball, and those comprising the noisiest crowd for a Reds home game since maybe Barry Larkin and The Nasty Boys along the way to the 1990 world championship (or perhaps since the legendary Big Red Machine of the 1970s) stood and yelled and smiled as their new hero continued to thrill throughout the game.

He did that a lot.

He’s still doing it.

On Saturday, everybody watching on national television rubbed their eyes after De La Cruz helped the Reds in Milwaukee continue as kings of the National League by stealing second, then third and then home on three pitches during an 8-5 victory over the second-place Brewers.

If that wasn’t enough, De La Cruz saved teammate Joey Votto from embarrassing himself earlier in the game. He was on base when Votto ripped a three-run homer, but Votto forgot something huge.

No worries. While standing right there, the rookie calmly reminded the veteran to stop walking for the dugout after rounding the bases and to go back to touch home plate before the Brewers and the umpires got wise.

In 30 games as a Major Leaguer, De La Cruz is batting .325 with 16 RBIs, 4 homers and 16 stolen bases. He became the first Reds player to hit for the cycle in 34 years.

Here’s the other thing: When De La Cruz was promoted to the big leagues, the Reds were 27-33. Now they’re heading into the Baseball All-Star Break at 50-41 with a one-game lead over the Brewers in the NL Central.

“Elly, Elly, Elly.”

That’s the new sports chant.

Folks even did it over the weekend in Milwaukee during the Reds’ three-game series against the home team.

Oh, and De La Cruz joined NFL star Odell Beckham Jr. and soccer icon Alex Morgan in a “Mission: Impossible” ad.

There are more Elly endorsements to come.

Monster ones.

Just ask the bosses at Big League Advantage (BLA), an investment firm that says it gambles on minor leaguers by giving them an upfront payment of $350,000 in exchange for 8% of their future Major League Baseball earnings.

Such a gamble isn’t much of a gamble if you’re an investment firm seeking to acquire an obviously gifted athlete such as De La Cruz.

Before De La Cruz, BLA grabbed others, but none was bigger than Fernando Tatis Jr., the 24-year-old face of the San Diego Padres. He’s also an infielder from the Dominican Republic.

All you need to know about a large chunk of De La Cruz’s financial baseball future is the following: Tatis Jr. signed a 14-year contract with the Padres in February 2021 for $340 million, and he owes BLA around $27 million.

So, I’m guessing when I was at De La Cruz’s MLB debut in June — with all of those folks jumping and screaming at Great American Ball Park — more than a few among the giddy worked for BLA.

I could be wrong, but probably not.