June 27, 2011, was the day my world was forever altered. A drunk driver crashed into my mom’s car, leading to her untimely death.

In the immediate aftermath, I was engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions, predominantly anger and sorrow. Yet, amidst preparing our family’s victim impact statement, I experienced a profound shift in understanding. My mother, Gertrude Price, embodied empathy and care for others. I came to realize she would have sought a balance between seeking justice and understanding the difficult path that led to the man’s tragic mistake.

This realization was a stark contrast to my earlier perception of my mom’s empathetic nature. I previously viewed it as naive, perhaps too self-sacrificing. However, reflecting on how she might have approached her own tragedy, I began to appreciate her empathy as a remarkable strength.

During the court proceedings, this newfound understanding of empathy came to the forefront. While acknowledging the gravity of the man’s actions, I also considered his incredibly turbulent past, his struggles with addiction, and the impact on his young family—what I think my mom would have wanted.

The court ultimately held the man accountable, but not to the maximum extent. He could have faced a 28-year sentence without parole. However, influenced by what I sensed my mother would have perceived, I advocated for a more merciful sentence. This decision considered the broader implications, especially for his mother and newborn child, who would be a teenager upon release.

For nearly four decades, I championed logic and reason while dismissing empathy and compassion. My mother’s passing was a pivotal moment that allowed me to perceive empathy through her perspective. It was the start of my journey to intentionally integrate empathy into my life.

In my book, Spark the Heart: Engineering Empathy in Your Organization, I delve into this personal transformation. Today, I want to share how crucial empathy is in the workplace, particularly in relation to accountability.

True accountability involves more than just setting expectations and measuring performance. It encompasses understanding the challenges and capabilities, offering feedback, and comprehending the gravity of the consequences. Peter Bregman eloquently described this approach in his article “The Right Way to Hold People Accountable.”

However, as leaders, we often rush to accountability without ensuring these foundational steps are in place. This is where I encourage a reassessment through a lens of empathy and understanding.

Empathy in leadership is not about excusing poor performance or behavior. Rather, it's about comprehending the reasons behind them. This insight allows leaders to guide their teams more effectively.

For example, I worked with a CEO upset about his team missing deadlines. He said, “I don’t care how they feel. I just need them to get the work done.” But understanding his team’s predicament and feelings about it could actually help solve the problem. Simply demanding better performance without addressing underlying issues was not effective. A touch of empathy – creating a space where team members feel comfortable to express and resolve these issues – led to a more productive approach.

Leading with empathy isn’t just a kind gesture; it’s a strategic tool for unveiling underlying problems and improving team dynamics. It’s about fostering a workplace where people feel recognized, understood, and valued. This environment encourages better communication and collaboration, enhancing accountability.

This journey of embracing empathy was neither quick nor straightforward. It required me to shift from a mindset of questioning, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

This change didn’t just impact my professional life; it transformed my personal relationships and overall worldview.

I invite you, as leaders and individuals, to consider empathy as an integral component in your interactions. It’s not about compromising standards or overlooking errors. It’s about comprehending the human elements in every situation. Balancing empathy with accountability creates environments where individuals can excel, innovate, and grow.

As we navigate our complex world, let’s remember the transformative power of empathy. It's not merely a feel-good factor but crucial for effective leadership and a more compassionate society. Empathy is not the enemy of accountability; it is its ally.

Let’s actively practice empathy and witness the positive changes it brings.