Here’s how the left’s doomsday lies created the awesome generation of Generation X.
Our teachers were the adult hippies, and so we were constantly told we would soon die in a nuclear blast. Even in our Weekly Reader, death was right around the corner. Over and over, they had us participate in useless and terrifying “duck and cover” nuclear drills. Imminent death was pounded into us.
And if it wasn’t nukes, it was the depletion of the ozone layer, acid rain, Global Cooling, the population bomb, worldwide famine, the exhaustion of natural resources, or something else that ended up being exposed as a hoax.
These manipulative leftists mistakenly believed scare tactics would convince my generation to extend their socialist peace movement through the anti-nuke or environmental movement.
Well, thankfully, they were wrong. Instead, we became the awesomest generation—Generation X.
Believing we would die anyway, instead of wasting our short lives worrying about what we couldn’t control, we chose to party and stop sweating the small stuff (skin color, cultural differences, microaggressions, how other people chose to live, speak, and believe).
Since death hovered over our every moment and death focuses the mind like nothing else, we quickly got our priorities in order. This meant we minded our own business and ridiculed the moralists who didn’t. This meant that when we came across someone different, we shrugged, said, “Whatever,” and asked if they’d heard the new AC/DC album.
If you wanted to be accepted in our world, you had to be laid back, cool, open-minded, roll with the punches, and take a joke.
We ate mouthfuls of the dirt of failure, loss, and humiliation. This taught us to get up and gifted us with resilience. Without fear of being canceled, we teased and were teased mercilessly—and, yes, sometimes, it was cruel. But because no busybody protected us from real life, these taunts permanently thickened our skin and forced us to work through the complex emotions that bring maturity and wisdom.
It was easy to be one of us. There were only two rules: 1) Don’t snitch. 2) Don’t be a bossypants.
Thankfully, we barely dodged the bullet of the insufferable and suffocating helicopter parent. Instead, we were blessed with hippie-turned-yuppie parents who were too busy chasing the phony and futile dream of having it all to micromanage us. We were sent outside all day, where we had to hone our socialization skills to make friends and fire up our imagination to fill the hours. We became self-sufficient latchkey kids who learned to cook, shop for food, buy our own clothes, do laundry, and help raise our little brothers and sisters.
And we weren’t afraid of the dark. As kids, we loved the night, for that was where we ran around after sneaking out of the house. As teens, the dark meant drive-in movies, bonfire beer busts, and outdoor concerts.
We flipped burgers to buy our first car.
We mowed lawns to pay for auto insurance.
We shoveled snow to cover gas and auto repairs.
No one had to medicate us. No one had to tell us to get a job or move out of the house… We craved our independence as much as food, sex, and shelter.
Best of all, we had a sense of humor about everything. Nothing was sacred, most especially ourselves, and this ensured we matured into grounded, well-adjusted, and happy adults.
Gen X is not perfect, that’s for sure. But we never pretended to be perfect or demanded perfection. Much of our peace of mind comes from accepting and making the best of an unfair world. Much of our contentment comes from acknowledging our failings and accepting others for who they are instead of cruelly holding them to some impossible moral standard.
And we are happy. Actually, we’re more than happy—we’re grateful, especially as we watch Generation Z, these uptight and joyless Zoomers—this toxic generation of bitter, spoiled, miserable, intolerant, thin-skinned bullies and tattletales who emulate Frank Burns rather than point and laugh at him.
As far as what happened to this younger generation of harsh, oppressive, sanctimonious crybabies… Maybe their Gen-X parents are to blame? Maybe it’s the Internet? Well, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we should stop making excuses for the pitiless Zrd Reich. All I can say is what my generation taught me: Whatever.
While Zoomers make themselves miserable over a messy world that won’t conform to affirm and accommodate them, Gen X is grilling steaks.
While Zoomers give themselves ulcers over someone being misgendered on Twitter, Gen X is laughing and talking shit about everything, especially ourselves.
While Zoomers waste their lives trying to police everyone else’s life, Gen X embraces and enjoys life as it comes, not as we might want it.
Those hippy teachers were right about one thing: life is short…
Too short to waste worrying over things we can’t control.