Q. My ex-wife has always been financially irresponsible.  During the divorce process, I was told I could not just take on paying certain things in exchange for reduced child support.  I earn a good living, as does she, but she is always broke, and when she has money, all she does is shop.

Our son has gone through some recent growth spurts and has outgrown everything.  I have replaced all of his clothing, shoes, and hockey equipment this year.  His mom refused to buy him new things claiming she had no money to do so. She just served me with a complaint to increase child support claiming that she suspects my income has increased.  Well, it has but not by much.

When we exchanged financial statements, I learned that our former marital home is in foreclosure and she still makes the same good money she earned before.  To make matters worse, she is supposed to pay me for my equity in five years when he graduates high school.  Now our son is going to have to move as a result of her behavior and she doesn’t even have enough for a down payment on an apartment.  What are my options to protect my son from his mother’s fiscal irresponsibility?

A. You should file a counterclaim for modification and ask for primary custody of your son so you can provide financially for him, including stepping in to negotiate with the bank to get the house out of foreclosure so he can stay in his home. Find a real estate lawyer who can help you begin negotiations with the bank.  They should do so given your equity stake.

Then offer to trade places with your ex.  You will go live in the house and buy out her equity when your son graduates less whatever it costs you to get the house out of foreclosure.  If you can afford to do so, offer to accept a reduced amount of child support from her – just enough to cover half of his extra-curricular activity expenses and uninsured medical bills.

If she does not accept your offer, make a motion to the court asking for this temporary relief (change in custody, you in the house and support from her).  Courts will only entertain temporary orders in modifications if there is an emergency.  Your son being on the verge of homelessness should suffice for that purpose.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com