“Good Stuff Cheap.”
That was the Building 19 motto.
The discount retailer’s TV ads filled local airwaves for decades.
Owner Jerry Ellis became infamous for his cheap stuff and tacky commercials.
Building 19 is no longer with us, but the Patriots continue to scour the bargain bin for their skill positions.
Drafting N’Keal Harry in the first round can wreck anyone’s long-term budget.
The Patriots found Zeke Elliott in the Salvation Army kettle.
Elliott, 28, began his end-zone-kettle celebrations back in 2016 as a rookie with the Cowboys. He has since used his post-TD revelry (fines and all) to raise money for the noteworthy charity.
Things are dismal in Bill Belichick’s backfield this summer. To get Elliott, the Patriots tossed $1.55 million in base salary, up to $850,000 in roster bonuses, and a $600,000 signing bonus, into the metaphorical red kettle.
Depending on how much cereal Zeke eats, he could earn up to $3 million more in incentives.
All of that adds up to about 6 million in Patriots Dollars.
Speaking of “Good Stuff Cheap,” wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins also visited Foxboro.
He marked himself down about 75%.
Much like a suit jacket originally for sale at Nordstrom but now hanging inside T.J. Maxx.
Yet, Hopkins wasn’t cheap enough.
Letting Hopkins leave One Patriot Place without a contract could be the biggest front office blunder in the post-Brady era.
Hopkins signed with Tennessee.
Elliott joined the Patriots Wednesday at their joint practice with the Packers in Green Bay.
Reaction to the Patriots acquiring Elliott spread from dread to euphoria.
Think of your favorite TV weatherperson’s pre-blizzard forecast.
“Three feet of snow expected in the mountains!”
“High tides to flood the South Shore!”
“Ice! Winds! Power Outages!”
“Schools Closed!
Then you end up with 2.5 inches of snow and a breeze.
At least it’s gluten free.
This O-line is so porous and brittle that the Patriots may have to measure offensive output in feet instead of yards.
Bill O’Brien’s sorcery can’t pick up a blitz. Or clear a hole on the left side. Or give Mac Jones more than 1.8 seconds to unload the ball.
The players have to do that.
Speaking of discounted skill players, WR/QB Malik Cunningham all but clinched a roster spot after his performance last week against Houston. Cunningham was not drafted coming out of Louisville. The Patriots guaranteed him $200,000 plus a $30,000 signing bonus. The Herald’s Doug Kyed says that figure is the most ever the Patriots have guaranteed an undrafted free agent.
Who knew Goodwill had a Platinum Card?
Cunningham’s 14-play, 75-yard drive against the Texans resulted in the team’s only touchdown thus far in the preseason.
For a fleeting moment on social media, Malik Fever replaced the Second Wildcard as the local pandemic of choice.
The Patriots gained just 89 yards on offense without Cunningham at quarterback.
Mac Jones sat safely on the sideline. Rooting wildly each time Bailey Zappe got smothered. Or so we’ve been led to believe.
In defense of taking the Patriots over 7.5 wins this season, New England’s 2023-24 projected starting line has yet to manifest.
Patriots State Run Media says things will be OK once the “replacements” get healthy.
Sound familiar?
Trent Brown, Michael Onwenu, Cole Strange, and Calvin Anderson are the Foxboro versions of Trevor Story, Chris Sale, Garrett Whitlock, and Tanner Houck.
Still, the Patriots are going to need at least three quarterbacks as insurance.
Jones might not make it to Halloween.
And Zappe is one play from being “Zappe-d.
Belichick blew a gasket in Green Bay on Wednesday after his offense got mauled in an 11-on-11 drill against the Packers. Overall, Jones was “sacked” 5 times and Zappe 8 times, according to the Herald’s Andrew Callahan’s on-site reporting. Two potential interceptions off the arm of Jones were dropped.
Elliott did not participate in these drills.
This setting provides the backstory for Elliott’s arrival in New England.
There’s even some added intrigue.
The Patriots visit Jerry World in Week 4 to face the Cowboys. The game will be a nationally televised affair.
The rivalry between billionaires and team owners Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones is well documented. The Patriots were 5-0 against the Cowboys with Tom Brady in the saddle.
Jones paid Elliott more than $70 million during the running back’s seven seasons in Dallas. Beating the Cowboys with Elliott playing any sort of a meaningful role could be worth whatever Elliott’s final cost may be.
No one over the age of Pink Hat is naïve enough to believe Elliott is going to be a pivotal player in changing the fate of this team.
But he won’t cough up the ball on the Bengals 7-yard line. With 55 seconds left to play in the fourth quarter. When the Patriots are trailing by 4 points.
Elliott rarely fumbles. A total of 22 times in 1,881 career rushing attempts. His team has kept the ball 50% of the time.
Having a reliable pair of hands on the ball and sturdy legs inside the 5, or on 3rd-and-2 when the entire world is expecting the run, makes Elliott a plus.
Never mind those snaps he will take to lessen the burden on Rhamondre Stevenson.
All good stuff.
Quite cheap.
Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com)