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Boston Herald
Boston Herald
14 Jan 2023
Mike Pingree

NextImg:Looking Glass: You’d better pray that the cops come to get you, punk

A man entered a convenience store in Ellijay, Ga., with robbery in mind. He covered his face with a pair of women’s panties, and pulled a gun on the clerk. Then, a customer pulled out his gun and pointed it at the robber. A second customer went to his vehicle, got his pistol and returned to assist the first customer. A third armed man at the gas pump also came inside to assist. The first customer disarmed the robber and told the others not to shoot him.

AND THOMAS JEFFERSON WOULD BACK ME UP ON THIS: One of two passengers in a pickup truck being driven by a drunk driver at 100 mph and swerving in and out of lanes called the police emergency number to complain that Washington state troopers were chasing them in violation of their constitutional rights.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF GETTING A JOB?: A man robbed a bank in Belle Isle, Fla., while he was on parole for robbing three banks in Baltimore. He said that he did it because it was the only way he knew how to make money.

I’M USED AS A BAD EXAMPLE AT THE MEETINGS: A heavily intoxicated driver, who crashed into another vehicle in Malvern, England, was on his way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

I HATE YOU! I HOPE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR! … CRASH!: A 19-year-old man, high on drugs 12 times the legal limit, drove past his ex-girlfriend in Kent, England, more than half a dozen times, shouting abuse and hurling insults at her until he hit two bumps in the road, lost control of the car, crashed into a tree and overturned.

MY BUSINESS MODEL DOES HAVE A FEW FLAWS, I ADMIT: A 62-year-old man, who sells stolen meat to restaurants at half price, was arrested with a suitcase full of packaged meat that he had taken out of a supermarket in South Euclid, Ohio, without paying for it. It was the 70th time he has been arrested.

OTHERWISE, OUR PLAN WAS FOOLPROOF: A pair of burglars were arrested in Merritt Island, Fla., when police pulled over their pickup truck with “stolen tag” written on a piece of cardboard where the license plate was supposed to be. One resident said, “People who commit crimes like these are not the sharpest tools in the shed.”

THE BIRD APPARENTLY HAS LEARNED HIS LESSON: Corrections officers intercepted a carrier pigeon that flew over the wall of a prison in Abbotsford, British Columbia, and into the outdoor area where inmates congregate, with a small backpack containing about 30 grams of crystal meth. They confiscated the drugs and let the bird go free.

THANKS FOR COMING, OFFICER: A woman accidentally butt-dialed 911 while she and her boyfriend were burglarizing a house in Poinciana, Fla. When the cops showed up, the woman tried to convince them that she really intended to make the call by saying that she wanted the police to come and help them move “their” belongings from the house that they were, in fact, burglarizing. The officers were not fooled.

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