Are we tired yet of American film corporations taking our favorite screen characters and sucking them dry by forcing them into hard labor in one mediocre sequel after another? Take a look at the completely redundant and unnecessary “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” and ask yourself. While I’m happy the great Harrison Ford, the best thing about this derivative-by-design, new film, is still in demand, I am not happy that he has appeared in such weak efforts as the risible “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008) opposite Shia LaBeouf’ for crying out loud.
Now, we have “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”(ugh, that title), the first “Jones” film not directed by Steven Spielberg or written by George Lucas. We are told this is 80-year-old Ford’s last appearance as Jones (but don’t bet on it). In this installment of the Indiana Jones saga, we begin during World War II with a “de-aged” (I call it “youth-enized”) Ford a la “The Irishman” back doing his favorite thing, battling Nazis, who are losing the war but looting museums as they retreat, searching for more powerful objects similar to the Ark for Adolf Hitler to use perhaps to reverse the outcome.
In this adventure, Jones is teamed in the flashback with British spy and archaeologist Basil Shaw (“Harry Potter” regular Toby Jones). Jones, Shaw, the Nazis, especially a psycho named Jurgen Voller (Hollywood’s go-to villain, the great Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen) are all after a dial-shaped device called the Antikythera (this really exists), a type of handheld orrery, an invention designed to predict astronomical positions created by the legendary Greek mathematician Archimedes.
What does the device, which was broken into two pieces and cannot be used without a code, also do? Perhaps, it changes the course of time, a handy thing to have if you are about to lose a World War. A battle between young Jones and Nazis aboard a train turns out to be the best set piece in the 2-hour-plus film.
Cut to moon-landing-era New York City to the tune of the Beatles “Magical Mystery Tour” on the day aged Professor Jones retires. Jones’ long lost English goddaughter, Helena (a not-very-likable Phoebe Waller-Bridge), the daughter of Basil Shaw, shows up in his classroom. In addition, an aged Voller drops in with a band of violent baddies, including a woman named Agent Mason (Shaunette Renee Wilson) and a giant neo-Nazi (7’2” Olivier Richters). Another shootout and chase ensues with a backdrop of a parade. Divorce papers lie in Jones’ desk at home. Helena is an Oxford grad working on her doctorate, natch. Jones galloping on a policeman’s horse in the subway is a good bit. As it turns out, Helena is also more than a bit shady, stealing archaeological items and auctioning them in Tangiers with the help of her thieving boy sidekick Teddy (Ethann Bergua-Isadore). I found this twist of the screenplay by Jez Butterworth and John-Henry Butterworth (“Ford v Ferrari”), David Koepp (“Jurassic Park”) and director James Mangold (“Logan”) not very interesting or credible.
Composer John Williams’ trademark original score is retro-fitted, along with new compositions by him. In an evocation of Wernher von Braun, Voller has been working for NASA. In search of the code and globe-tripping like James Bond, Jones enlists old friend and sponge diver Renaldo (Antonio Banderas) to dive deep into, uh-oh, an eel-infested Roman wreckage. We’ve done trains, cars (and tuk-tuks). Next must be planes. We get lots of yuks at Jones’ expense, as well as – are you kidding? – the Siege of Syracuse. John Rhys-Davies returns as Sallah. Ditto for Karen Allen’s Marion. This entry, complete with a squeaking tarantula, cost a staggering $295 million. Mangold ‘s direction is aptly, if not slavishly Spielbergian, but uninspired. All “Indiana Jones” sequels are essentially inferior remakes of the sublime first entry, the 1981 classic “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” is, alas, no exception.
(“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” contains violence, scary action and profanity)