I have a modest proposal.
Now that Labor Day is here and the Beautiful People will be flying back to New York in their private Gulfstreams and Lear Jets, let’s round up all the illegal aliens and ship them over to Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket, and Naushon Island makes three.
Plenty of room over there for the winter, and not just in the $20 million oceanfront mansions and swank resorts. How about new tent cities on all the conservation land and private golf courses?
The undocumented Democrats could set up Bidenvilles in the posh boatyards. Their welfare grub could be delivered by all those world-class restaurants — the Chanticleer, the Wauwinet and the White Elephant, just to name three on Nantucket.
After Monday, the islands will be basically empty. Sure they’re zoned NHP — No Hoi Polloi, hoi polloi being defined as anyone who goes to church on Sunday and/or doesn’t have a trust fund.
But this is an emergency, dammit. Gov. Maura Healey called out the National Guard Thursday to make sure the foreign freeloaders can get all their free stuff with no inconvenient waits like American citizens must endure.
She even said “All hands on deck!” But don’t look for any videotape of that exhortation, because she couldn’t be bothered to go in front of the cameras. Maura just put out a press release. Not really her problem, in other words.
It’s been two weeks now since Maura and her plus-sized lieutenant governor, Kim Driscoll, asked the comrades to open their doors and their hearts to what the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty calls the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Your teeming shore, not theirs. Their shore is a private beach, thank you very much. Trespassers will be prosecuted.
Yet the fellow travelers have those signs outside their $5 million mansions in Dover and Sherborn saying “Hate Has No Home Here.”
Can we amend those signs to the current reality?
“Hate Has No Home Here and Neither Do Illegal Aliens.”
Another of their favorite virtue-signaling messages is “No Human Is Illegal.”
That could be changed to, “No Human Is Illegal, but Over-occupancy of a Single-Family Dwelling in Our Lily-White Gated Community Is Illegal.”
This breathtaking liberal hypocrisy is nothing new in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts. The new state motto should be, “Do As I Say, Not As I Do.”
For years now, the Commonwealth has offered NPR listeners the option of paying income taxes at a rate higher than the statutory rate of about 5 percent. If a Bernie bro desires to pay an extra one percent of his trust fund income to the hackerama, all he does is check a box.
Couldn’t be any simpler.
I checked recently with the Department of Revenue to see how many of the state’s card-carrying fellow travelers are taking advantage of the opportunity to redistribute the wealth — their wealth, as opposed to ours.
In fiscal year 2022, the DOR received 3,663,849 tax returns, from both residents and non-residents.
And exactly 2,036 checked the box to pay at the higher rate. We’re not talking about tithing here — the faithful followers of Biden and the fake Indian are merely being asked to pay less than an extra one percent.
It’s their fair share. It’s for the children. Not to mention the crumbling infrastructure.
And yet only one-half of one percent of the population — actually 0.55 percent — opted to pay the extra dough and make that investment in the future.
These cheapskates are the same people who loudly proclaim that they would give the illegals the shirt off their back. Er, correction, they would give them the shirt off your back. You see, if they were no longer wearing their shirts, they’d be in violation of the Harvard Club dress code and wouldn’t be allowed in for the vegan brunch.
So the Beautiful People prefer to turn all the hotels in working-class cities and towns into Third World flophouses. There was a demonstration against the latest destabilization effort yesterday in West Yarmouth. That’s where rooms at a local fleabag used to be $300 a week, but now the rent has been jacked up to $700, to take advantage of the Fundamental Transformation.
So now the American working classes get the boot for non-American deadbeats who plan to be on the dole forever. One of the Americans who can no longer afford to live there is an 89-year-old American woman. Her plight has been chronicled on the local talk radio station, but nowhere else. State-run media are part of the problem.
The same destabilization process is occurring across the state — Kingston, Taunton, West Springfield, Sandwich, and the Beautiful People yawn. Not their problem!
Woburn is one of the afflicted communities. A woman came up to me the other day and pointed out that Woburn is bordered by any number of woke communities, including Winchester, Lexington and Arlington.
“Why should our schools have to shoulder the entire burden?” she said. “How about a suburban METCO program to take in some of these illegals before Woburn’s schools are overwhelmed? Those rich people are the ones who wanted them, not us. But now we’re stuck with taking care of them.”
What an idea. Think about Lexington, home to all those woke professors like Charles Lieber, the Red Chinese operative at Harvard who’s now a jailbird. Or Jonathan Gruber, who helped wrecked the US health-care system. Or that ancient Red rat Noam Chomsky.
And how about Arlington, the latest home of our free-range governor? As we’ve pointed out, her new younger girlfriend has at least one spare bedroom in their love nest.
Which kind of “family” would you prefer to host, Governor? MS-13 gangbangers or ISIS terrorists? There’s plenty of both crossing the border every day.
Unfortunately, as I told the Woburn woman, the odds of a Metrowest METCO to spread the wealth are not very good.
As a matter of fact, I’d place the odds of the limousine liberals doing their fair share at approximately one half of one percent — 0.55 percent, to be exact.
All hands on deck! Our hands, not theirs.
Order Howie’s new book “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.