Back in 1964, teenagers across the country bought an album called “Meet the Beatles.” Pamela Des Barres was one of the few who took that invitation literally.
Des Barres wears her status as “the world’s most famous groupie” proudly, shining a light on that subculture with her bestselling 1987 memoir “I’m With the Band.” She’s currently trading in her backstage pass for an onstage speaking tour, which brings her to the City Winery at noon this Sunday.
“The word groupie used to have a negative connotation but it’s really about love — love for the music and the people who make it,” she said this week. “I was a huge fan, endlessly obsessed with music. It started with Elvis at age eight and Dion at 12. I thought the album ‘Meet the Beatles’ gave me permission to go out and do that, and eventually I did meet them all.”
But the first musician she bonded with, in the glory days of the Sunset Strip, was the mad genius Captain Beefheart (Don Van Vliet). “The first words he said to me were life changing. This burly, imposing figure looked me up and down and said ‘I wish there were more people like you, you’re a gas.’ So I set out to find out what being a gas meant. His cousin was a high-school friend of mine, and one day we all saw the Rolling Stones together. Since I was with Don I couldn’t get too weirded out — I learned early on how to play it cool.””
Even during her wildest days, she was always taking notes. “I would take my diaries to gigs, there was one memorable time while I was writing in the limousine waiting for Jimmy Page to finish his encore in front of 20,000 people, and I looked up and said ’Great, here he comes’.” Another close connection was country-rock pioneer, Gram Parsons, whose daughter Polly is now her assistant and goddaughter.
Onstage she reads from her five books, plays clips of some music (including her own, Zappa-produced album with the GTO’s), and takes questions. And yes, she’ll spill a few salacious details. “People used to be horrified that I’d talk about sex in the show, especially women. But people want to hear them, so I’ll have some salacious bits. Compared to many books since then, I’d say that the stories I tell are more PG-rated, there’s nothing gross. Fortunately for me, my personality was creative but it wasn’t addictive.”
Leaving sex aside, who was the greatest gentleman she encountered?
“It certainly wasn’t Frank Zappa. He kept trying to get with me and I wouldn’t do it because I loved (his wife) Gail. Even though we had the wildest time together, I would have to say Waylon Jennings. He had those Southern manners, when he met my mom he kissed her on the cheek. And the first time we were together, he kissed me on the forehead the next morning and said, ‘Little hippie girl shook me up.’ How often do you hear that?”
She more-or-less settled down after marrying rocker Michael Des Barres in 1977. “Our marriage lasted 14 years and I’m best friends with his wife, so I consider that a success.” These days she teaches writing workshops on both coasts, and attends all the Dylan and Springsteen shows she can.
Now that she’s on the road doing shows, does she get groupies herself? “Oh yes, tons of them, boys and girls. There was one young man in Austin who just told me, ‘I read your book and it gave me permission to be who I am.’ Now that’s not why I wrote it, I just wanted to tell my story. But that’s a blessing and a real bonus.”
