FORT MYERS, Fla. – Opening Day 2025 draws ever near, and with it, a new season of celebrity first pitches.
The results are mixed, to say the least, but there are certain types of first pitches that happen every year: jaw-dropping contributions from star athletes, throws so far outside the zone they would make the late Bob Uecker chuckle, and ones that plunk someone at or in the vicinity of home plate. It can be entertaining, but more often than not, viewers are grateful that the pitches don’t count.
What if they did count, though? Imagine if teams were forced to hand over the ball when the stakes were at their highest.
“If baseball really wants to get interesting they should get a celebrity to throw the last pitch. “Imagine: last inning, bases loaded AND HERE COMES DANNY DEVITO,” proposed Patricio de Regil in a viral post on X (formerly Twitter).
Ninth inning, bases loaded, the Yankees down to their last strike. For all the marbles. The Herald asked several members of the Red Sox which celebrity they’d send to the mound to close things out. (No former professional baseball players allowed.)
Kristian Campbell, IF/OF: “Let’s do Kevin Hart.”
Roman Anthony, OF: “My first thought is Adam Sandler. I don’t know why, I just feel like his vibe, the way he dresses, everything about him. He’s just super funny, a great actor. I feel like it’d be a fight. Maybe he would throw funny. Nothing against him but I feel like it would just be funny to watch everyone get a kick out of it. I think that’d be a fan favorite. Who knows, maybe he’s sneaky, got a good fastball to him or something.”
Anthony thought he could guess Marcelo Mayer’s answer. He was wrong.
Marcelo Mayer, SS: “This is tough, I’m bouncing between a few here. I’m gonna go (with) Julia Roberts in ‘Notting Hill.’ ”
Anthony: “(Expletive)! I thought you were gonna say Vinny Chase (from ‘Entourage’).”
Mayer: “Oh, that’s true. You probably picked some big guy. Actor? OK, I’m cooking here.”
Anthony: “I think you could get mine.”
Mayer: “Thor. He’s choosing (Chris Hemsworth).”
Anthony: “I chose Adam Sandler.”
Mayer: “Adam Sandler? He’s not big!”
Mark Kolozsvary, C: “Can I do the guy from ‘The Rookie’? Dennis Quaid, right?”
Mayer: “Why are you guys saying guys? That’s boring! Get a female up there.”
Quinn Priester (RHP) and Nick Sogard (IF): “Josh Allen,” Priester said. “Simone Biles, she could do the front flip,” offered Sogard. “What if we went with (San Antonio Spurs’ Victor) Wembanyama? I’m going by extension,” countered Priester.
Alex Bregman, IF: “I was gonna say (Victor Wembanyama). I think I’d pick Wemby because being that tall, that much extension, it’d be weird to hit, coming from the sky.”
Jarren Duran, OF: “(Sandler) is such a good one. I’ll go with Mark Wahlberg.”
Trevor Story, SS: “I’m gonna say Ben Affleck, because he’s a diehard Sox fan, right? Knows what it would take, he’s pretty stoic, he can handle the situation, and he’s got that heart for the Sox. I think he would get it done.”
Tanner Houck, RHP: “Honestly, I think (Rob Gronkowski) would do a really good job. After watching the first pitch last year, I think he’d be elite in a closer role,” he said. (Remembering that Gronk had spiked the ball.) “I think Gronk would live up to the moment in a really fun way. He’s got that kind of craziness to him so I could see it happening.”
Vaughn Grissom, IF: “I’m picking Tom Brady with the game on the line. He’s proven in his career that he gets it done in those situations. I mean, who else? Matt Damon? Maybe Kevin Costner, I know he pitched in movies. Maybe he’s got a heater.”
Justin Slaten, RHP: “Logically, I would say it’s got to be someone who might even hate the Yankees more than they love the Red Sox. The obvious answers are Boston people like Matt Damon. I’d probably have to go with him. I saw him hitting BP last year (at Fenway), he looked pretty athletic and he’s a Boston guy. For a silly answer, I’d say let’s get that guy that threw the first pitch that hit the camera guy. Redemption shot.”
Isaiah Campbell, RHP: “I’ll do another person with some Boston roots, that I share a birthday with: Ben Affleck. Or, just so I can hear him talk after and be in his presence, I’m gonna go with Denzel Washington.”
Rob Refsnyder, OF: “Denzel Washington. I love Denzel Washington. I feel like he could do it.”
Richard Fitts, RHP: “Maybe Kevin Costner? Notorious for baseball movies.”
Garrett Whitlock, RHP: “Henry Cavill. He’s my favorite actor.” Hearing Grissom and Fitts named Costner, he made a face. “Have you seen that pitching motion in his movies?”
Liam Hendriks, RHP: “Stephen Amell from Arrow, Suits LA. Played catch with him before, I think he’d be able to figure it out. He hits some homers in the Rogers Centre.”
Garrett Crochet, LHP: “I feel like the common answer is to go with someone who’s been in a baseball movie, has a good throw,” he said. “Charlie Sheen had a good throw (in Major League). I’m picking him, prime Charlie Sheen.”
Alex Cora wanted to choose the last batter, instead. “Tattoo, the guy from ‘Fantasy Island,’ ” he said, pulling up a photo of actor Hervé Jean-Pierre Villechaize.