Q. My wife asked me to leave after an argument two years ago.  I did.  She then got a restraining order claiming she was afraid I would hurt her.  I would never hurt her but understand she wanted me out for a while.  About four months after our fight, she asked to reconcile and I moved back in.  I have always paid all of our expenses including rent, utilities, both our student loan bills and have been giving her $300 per week for incidentals for over two years.

We agreed she wouldn’t work until our daughter starts kindergarten in the fall.  The day after our return from a ten-day vacation I was served with a divorce complaint and motion for retroactive child support back to the date she got the restraining order over two years ago.  She is asking for $1,400 per week, an amount just shy of half my gross paycheck.  What are the chances the judge orders me to pay that much and how can I prepare for the hearing?

A. You need not worry too much about this. She can ask for retroactive child support back to the date you were served with the divorce summons and the judge may establish a support order and make it retroactive from the motion date back to the service date.  But, if you continue to voluntarily pay $300 per week and all of the other expenses, I suspect the judge will have little sympathy for her request.

You should fill out the court financial statement form as soon as possible.  Go back into your records to figure out exactly how much you have paid in all utilities and rent since you initially moved out.  Summarize the amounts and bring copies of your bank statements and cancelled checks to the hearing so you can show the judge what you have been paying.  Bring evidence of the $300 per week you have been voluntarily paying.  On these facts, your exposure should be limited to the difference between the child support guidelines figure and the $300 per week you are currently paying on a voluntary basis.

You should also complete a child support guideline worksheet form.  If you find that $300 per week is less than the figure from the worksheet, you should increase your voluntary payment to the guideline amount between now and the time of the hearing. You have a good argument that the total monthly figure you pay for rent, utilities, and her student loans should be divided to a weekly number and added to your voluntary support payment credit.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com