Q. My ex insists each year that I give up my vacation weeks because of the summer camps our children want to attend. I am incredibly sick of not getting any summer vacation time with our kids. We could not agree on parenting and had a trial. The judgment requires us to equally pay for summer camp, to agree on camps by March 1 each year and also allows us to each have two weeks of vacation time with our kids.
Somehow each year my ex makes her vacation plans and then comes to me with a list of summer camps our kids want to attend which she of course has already discussed with the kids. She has me agree on the camps and then immediately informs me of her vacation time. I am typically left with two non-consecutive weeks and one child available for each week. Our kids go to different camps which somehow never fully line up. Somehow, she always gets two weeks with both kids. How can I stop her from doing this again next summer while there is still time for me to speak up?
A. It sounds as though your judgment is missing a provision which would allow you to take turns designating your vacation weeks once camps are chosen. She should not get first choice of vacation weeks each year. I suggest you send her a letter advising that you have observed an unfortunate trend each summer, that it is not fair to you or your children to never have a full family vacation with you – even for a week each summer while she has consistently had two full vacation weeks each summer. Tell her that you are already planning your vacation for next year and, if you are able, choose your weeks now. Then, when camp schedules come out, you can build camp schedules around your designated vacation weeks.
If these suggestions fall flat, you can file a complaint to modify your divorce judgment to allow for alternating choices of summer vacation weeks. Be prepared to present a calendar showing all of the summers since the divorce and where the children were for the summer. Color coding always adds a nice touch for the judge to easily visualize how your vacations with the children always come in last place.
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