Q. My husband just announced that he lost his job again, he has no money to pay child support, his trust fund is the only asset he has and he does not have to share it with me, and he has a girlfriend so he wants me to move out of the house so she can move in. He said because we were married in California, community property rules apply so I get nothing.

I can’t begin to unpack all of this. I haven’t worked in 20 years since our oldest was born. She is in college. We have three kids in high school.  All four kids have always attended private school paid for by the trust.

My husband’s trust even owns our home and our vacation home.  I would move to our vacation home just to get away from him right now, but he says I am not entitled to access that house any longer.

I do not have any cash to my name so I can’t even pay a lawyer for a consultation.  Should I just pack it in and move back to Iceland where my parents live and where I know I will be taken in?

A. Do not do anything drastic like moving to Iceland.  Do not move out of the house. He cannot force you to do so regardless as to whose name is on the title while the divorce is ongoing.

First thing first, do not panic.  He either does not have all the facts/law or he does and is trying to bully you into agreeing to something less than you are entitled to.  I assume that you do not have a pre-nup.  The location of your marriage does not matter.  If you live in Massachusetts, you get a Massachusetts divorce and apply our laws of equitable division of assets.

Depending on the facts of the situation and the language of the trust, in Massachusetts some trusts can be divided.  Also, if the trust makes regular distributions to him allowing your family to live a certain lifestyle during the marriage, the court can assume the same distributions will continue into the future and order him to pay child support and alimony on that trust income.

You need to immediately hire a family law attorney well versed in trust law. Most lawyers accept credit card payments.  Also, a judge can order a party with access to money to pay the other party’s legal fees to level the playing field.  Do not accept his word on anything right now.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com