Q. I share a six-year-old son with my ex-boyfriend (we were never married). My son’s father is listed on the birth certificate, but he has never been involved in my son’s life. He doesn’t even pay child support. I did not take him to court for child support because I know that will just make him try to spend time with my son, which I do not think would be a good idea. He has addiction issues which is why I ended our relationship shortly after our son was born. I am planning to move to New Hampshire because my mother and sister live there, and they can help me with childcare so that I can work more hours. Do I have to tell my son’s father that I’m moving?
A. Since you were never married and it sounds like you have never been to court in connection with your son’s custody or support, by default you have sole custody of your son. That means you can make decisions for him including where to live.
Further, Massachusetts still uses an older law which the rest of the country has moved on from called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). We are the only state that still gives up jurisdiction to hear custody matters once a child has been out of Massachusetts for six months. This means, if you truly have no contact with your ex and your son truly has no relationship with him, you can move and so long as he does not find out within the next six months, he has no recourse.
That is not necessarily to say moving without notice is the best plan. If your ex learns of the move and turns it into a big deal and files a custody complaint before the expiration of six months to try to get your son returned, you would have to go to court in Massachusetts to defend your actions.
If you have any contact with a mutual friend or any of his family, perhaps the best option is to reach out to someone and determine how he is doing at this point. If he is in recovery, you may want to reach out to him and give him an update on your move. In that way you look better to a court if you ever have to appear, being able to state that you always kept him informed of your son’s address. If you learn he is still actively using, you may choose to notify him once you have been gone for six months.
Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com