One of America’s greatest love stories can be understood through more than 1,000 eloquent letters that were sent between John and Abigail Adams – foundational figures in our nation’s early years – over the course of more than half a century.
John was a member of the First and Second Continental Congress, which served as the government of the 13 colonies; he nominated George Washington to be our commander in chief and Thomas Jefferson to write the Declaration of Independence.
John served as an ambassador, first vice-president and second president of our new nation. As John’s closest advisor, Abigail provided the support from home, and important news about Boston, that vastly helped her husband. Their letters provide lessons on love, partnership and commitment that still resonate this Valentine’s Day.
Their correspondence began during their courtship. It continued through their marriage, the births of their five children and the birth of the nation. It ended only with Abigail’s death in 1818, after 54 years of marriage. Their letters reveal a heated romance that blossomed into one of the most significant partnerships in American history. We would not be here as a country without their devotion to one another and their commitment to founding our nation.
John addressed Abigail as “Miss Adorable” in the first known letter sent during their courtship, (Oct. 4, 1762). In September 1764, a month before their wedding, during a separation due to his work, he wrote to her with great longing: “Oh my dear Girl, I thank Heaven that another Fortnight will restore you to me —after so long a separation. My soul and Body have both been thrown into Disorder, by your Absence.” His yearning is familiar to anyone who has been separated from someone they love.
What distinguished John and Abigail’s relationship was their mutual respect, intellectual curiosity and humor. John valued not just Abigail’s affection but her mind and judgment. In May 1776, as he was helping to shape a new nation, he expressed his thanks to her: “Among all the Disappointments, and Perplexities, which have fallen to my share in Life, nothing has contributed so much to support my Mind, as the choice Blessing of a Wife, whose Capacity enabled her to comprehend, and whose pure Virtue obliged her to approve the Views of her Husband.”
That same month, John also expressed his yearning to be at home with his wife and children. “I want to take a Walk with you in the Garden — to go over to the Common — the Plain — the Meadow.” He must have known that he would risk losing all that he loved so dearly when, two months later, he was to sign the Declaration of Independence.
Their letters weren’t just expressions of love; they were the ties that bound one to the other during the long separations demanded by their service to our nation. The depth of their emotional connection is captured in Abigail’s July 1777 response to one of John’s letters. She wrote about how a simple greeting— “my dearest Friend” — touched her deeply: “It gave me a most agreable Sensation, it was a cordial to my Heart. That one single expression dwelt upon my mind and playd about my Heart, and was more valuable to me than any part of the Letter.” She loved that he loved her.
The intensity of their connection can be seen in John’s response to Abigail’s request that he burn her letters. She was afraid they would fall into enemy hands: “The Conclusion of your Letter makes my Heart throb, more than a Cannonade would. You bid me burn your Letters. But I must forget you first.” Her letters connected John to his family back home; they also provided him with the stability he needed to perform the work required of him by our nation.
Their love story reached beyond romance to encompass a shared dedication to creating a new nation. When John became President in 1797, Abigail was not there but caring for his mother. Her letter to him demonstrated how their personal partnership had evolved into a partnership of public service. She wrote, “You have this Day to declare Yourself Head of A Nation… My Thoughts, and My Meditations are with you, tho personally absent, and My petitions to Heaven are that the things which make for Peace, may not be hiden from your Eyes.”
This Valentine’s Day, as couples exchange cards and gifts, the Adams’s letters, preserved through centuries, reminds us that the greatest romance stories are not just about passion, but about partnership, shared purpose and unwavering support through life’s challenges. That true love encompasses both heart and mind, personal devotion and shared ideals, romantic affection and committed partnership. They lived lives in service to one another and to our nation. (www.masshist.org/publications/adams-papers)
Jackie Cushman is the chairman of the Adams Memorial Commission and the president of the Adams Memorial Foundation. TheAdamsMemorial.org