FOXBORO — Bill O’Brien did his job Thursday night.
As a preseason play-caller, he kept his play sheet close, but his cards closer. He called a boring game. Everything about the Patriots offense was, in the favorite words of every NFL commentator, “vanilla.”
That is, soft-serve vanilla with a twist of doubt.
The Pats played offense in their preseason opener like they have all summer: as if they already know they can’t trust their offensive line. Like it’s a bug of their system, not a feature. And why wouldn’t they feel this way?
Their most experienced O-lineman Thursday night was Conor McDermott, a 7-year veteran who started at left tackle after spending two weeks of practice on the right side. McDermott flipped because the Patriots had one other option based on their available linemen: Andrew Stueber, a 2022 seventh-rounder. But injuries, which have recently sidelined offensive tackles Trent Brown and Calvin Anderson, and guards Cole Strange and Mike Onwenu, don’t paint the whole picture.
How O’Brien has been working around the Pats’ shaky O-line talent for weeks does. Start with the talent.
Three plays into the Pats’ opening drive, a backup line consisting of McDermott, two rookies, second-year backup Kody Russey and journeyman James Ferentz, got beat for a sack on a delayed blitz. Down went Bailey Zappe.
Over their second series, McDermott allowed a run stuff and got flagged for a false start. In the third quarter, backup running back J.J. Taylor narrowly avoided a safety on a run play that started at the 5-yard line. The O-line couldn’t clear enough room for anyone — not even the 5-foot-6 Taylor — to shimmy through against Texans backups, until shifty rookie quarterback Malik Cunningham started dazzling midway through the fourth quarter.
Cunningham’s magic aside, the Pats finished with 44 yards on 20 carries. Rushing was a misery.
The Pats’ passing performance wasn’t quite as grim, though it did offer a textbook lesson in why completion percentage fails to capture a quarterback’s performance by itself. Zappe posted a sparking 12-of-14 stat line, but averaged 4.4 yards per dropback, thanks to two sacks and a game plan that protected him like his mother had been at the controls.
Mirroring a modified version of what’s been run in practice, O’Brien called screens on 25% of Zappe passing plays. Zappe targeted the same quick-game concept — stick — three times. Around those calls, O’Brien sprinkled in run-pass options for both Zappe and Trace McSorley, which at least gave them the option of handing off against a suddenly immovable Texans front or trying to pass against the unstoppable force that had become Houston’s pass rush.
It wasn’t until Cunningham’s heroics that the offense could overcome its faulty front, but an undrafted rookie won’t be able to save the Patriots in the regular season. Time might heal these wounds, presuming Brown, Strange and Onwenu can return for Week 1. But if any of them get hurt again, one member of Thursday night’s sad-sack crew will replace them.
That’s why Thursday matters, even if it’s fated to be a footnote in the story of the 2023 Patriots. Not to mention, the Pats’ top O-line, with a left-to-right roll call of Brown, Strange, David Andrews, Onwenu and Riley Reiff, still inspires questions.
Brown’s injury history is spotty at best. Strange, despite being a first-round pick, got benched twice as a rookie. Before Reiff joined the Patriots, he blocked for two the worst offensive lines in the league in consecutive years, with the Bengals in 2021 and the Bears last season. Neither team opted to retain him.
The Pats signed Reiff for a measly $5 million, chump change to the best offensive tackles in the league. Then, after two days in training camp, the Patriots promoted McDermott into his spot on the first-team offense. Was it a benching? Was it a pre-planned rotation?
It became impossible to tell because Brown’s ensuing injury forced Reiff to start in his place for a week-plus — and the fact neither position stopped acting like a revolving door. The offense allowed 20 sacks in team drills over the three practices that preceded Thursday’s preseason opener.
This is the offensive foundation the Patriots chose to build for themselves, despite ample cash, cap room and draft capital last spring. The cracks are showing. At least O’Brien is already for sealant.