Here he comes.

The greatest coach of all time, sauntering into your Saturdays. Life in Chapel Hill is about to change because Bill Belichick has gone back to school.

For now, you, a reporter, have a job to do. Report on North Carolina football with the same depth and detail you always have. Except now, that’s a little harder.

Not because Belichick will snort and sneer. Or go on for 13 minutes about a special teams topic you had never considered. Or the history of Civil War battles fought a century and a half ago near campus, and how they relate to mid-game adjustments or preparation.

Or because on game day, he might call for an intentional safety. Or devise a game plan even his opponent won’t be able to unpack until the plane ride home.

It’s because mostly Belichick sees you and your media brethren as something that pulls him away from football; the game he’s here to coach, his players are here to play and the reason everyone else has gathered around them. A wart on his calendar he can’t remove. He will probably fulfill the bare minimum press requirements, which, of course, is his prerogative as the head coach; though you may need to fight for him to even do that.

During press conferences, you will also discover Belichick is the most disciplined speaker you have ever encountered. He abides by rules most of his players will follow, too. Knowing these rules can help you maximize your time with him, and cover his program the way your fan base will want and deserve.

And remember this: there was no Patriot Way. There will be no Carolina Way. There is, and only ever has been, the Belichick Way.

Learn the Belichick Way, and you can learn to walk alongside it as closely as most beat reporters can. So, here are the ground rules, sprinkled among a few tips for covering a living legend with a legendary tight lip.

Good luck.

This comes with the reporter’s manual, anyway. But no football coach in your lifetime will ever speak with more knowledge or experience or authority than Belichick.

So, take the offseason to learn the players, coaches, schemes, drills, NIL rules, situational football and the opponents involved as best you can. Be persistent and insatiable with this learning. He will be.

Belichick used to spend 15 to 20 minutes before every press conference, anticipating likely questions and preparing his answers. He has his defaults in case of any surprises (we’ll get to those later). But sitting for 15-20 minutes on your own before each press conference, preparing carefully worded questions and anticipating his answers, that’s a good place to start.

Week 6. 2018 NFL season.

The Patriots were coming off a Thursday night win over the Colts, and had an extra few days to prepare for the then unbeaten Chiefs and a young Patrick Mahomes before what would be a Sunday Night Football classic. Sitting in the Gillette Stadium media room that Wednesday, I asked Belichick a fairly benign question about their unusual schedule that week, knowing it would allow him to spend more time on the practice field. I was curious what he had chosen to emphasize, be it certain drills, situational football or whatever.

So, I asked, how specifically had he chosen to utilize his extra, fourth practice?

“Yeah, we’re working on Kansas City,” he deadpanned.

Well, the clip was splashed all over ESPN and social media later that day. It will probably happen to you, too. Don’t worry. Just laugh along the way.

Speak for yourself.

Stay in the present.

Don’t believe or fuel the hype.

Respect the opponent.

Manage expectations.

No speaking about injuries.

That’s about it.

Those rules come courtesy of Patriots players I interviewed a few years ago for a story I wrote about how Belichick’s media playbook can help you navigate uncomfortable family chit-chat at Thanksgiving. Belichick treasures these rules so much, in fact, most used to be inscribed on a sign that hung next to the players’ exit at the team facility. Meaning, any time a player left the building, he saw these reminders.

And as other former players have since said more succinctly, Belichick really has three rules for players: be on time, work hard and don’t **** with the media.

Belichick may not be able to pick you out from a lineup — and if he can, he may pretend he can’t — but his staff will know the regular media cold.

The Patriots read every story written about them, circulating them through football ops to media relations, marketing and other departments. They kept files on all beat reporters, with headshots, clips, notes, how “friendly” you were to the program, everything. In team meetings, Belichick would sometimes pull up media stories in team meetings, often to chastise players who had said things on the record he didn’t like. But not always.

Belichick and/or a personal assistant of his will also maintain his own private relationships with national reporters with whom they can trade information. Those insiders might even break North Carolina-related news moments after Belichick walks out of a press conference, so he doesn’t have to address it that day. Fight to know even more than they do, and dig around in places they don’t have time for or access to.

And when you get scooped, and that information likely came from that top, know it’s nothing personal to the new regime. Just business.

Do you know why “we’re on to Cincinnati” took off?

Because after a disastrous 2014 regular-season loss to Kansas City that seemed to shake the foundation of his dynasty, Belichick wanted to turn the page. And he wanted his players to do the same ASAP.

So, no matter who asked the question or how it was phrased the following Wednesday in his mid-week press conference, Belichick looked ahead. He cited Cincinnati. Hammering that message home to the media only spread it across TV, radio and social media, where it would reach his players whenever and wherever Belichick wasn’t there to remind them himself: move on.

Coming off that 27-point loss to the Chiefs, the Patriots were slated as 2.5-point home underdogs against Cincinnati.

Wouldn’t you know, they beat the brakes off the Bengals, 43-17.

Like all the best coaches, Belichick leverages the media to reach other people; namely, his players. So any time he’s speaking to you, know it’s a pared-down version of whatever he’s already told or will tell his players.

So, let’s say you’re prepared. You’ve asked a good question that doesn’t reference the past or the future. It’s detailed and relevant. But … Belichick doesn’t want to answer.

He won’t. He will deflect or play dumb. Behold, a Belichick classic from August 2021 delivered in response to an innocuous question about a rookie running back.

Question: How would he describe Rhamondre Stevenson’s rushing style?

Belichick: “Every player has their own style. I don’t know.”

Look, he’s intimidating. And he likes it that way. But if you’re fair and your information is solid, there is no reason you can’t spar with Belichick.

One of his preferred defaults to a question: I/we did what I/we thought was in the best interest of the football team.

A good reason to do anything, for sure. But that’s a given. That tells us nothing.

So, ask why he felt that way.

He might repeat a similar version of the same answer. Try again. The job of a reporter is to tell fans things they cannot know and take them places they cannot go. If Belichick doesn’t want to let you pass go, that’s his decision, not yours. Don’t make it for him by backing down and not asking a question relevant to the big story that week.

Do your job.

Here’s the skinny of what Belichick will say after a loss:

We need to coach better. We need to play better. We’ll make corrections, and get started on (insert next opponent here).

That’s it. That’s the script.

He’ll be blunt, consistent, and sometimes sarcastic or curt. No one likes losing. Especially him, though some are more graceful about it.

It’s great you studied the origins of Rip/Liz match coverage Belichick invented with Nick Saban coaching the Browns back in the 1990s. But if you want to prove you understand that defense in a press conference, or some other piece of Belichick history, do it on your own time.

You are there to serve the North Carolina fan base. Not your own fascinations or to earn points with the coach. He’s not your boss. Not to mention, no one likes a show-off or a suck-up.

Another Belichick staple.

What did Belichick say to his quarterback after the game? Or Chancellor Roberts the other week?

That’s been the two of them, and only them. Belichick will not reveal contents of private conversations, the same as he won’t bad mouth players publicly.

Never. Never, ever, ever.

“Billy’s first words were: ‘beat Duke.'” — Bill Belichick, sharing what his late father, Steve, told him about the family’s early years in North Carolina