Finally the day has come!
The New York Jets agreed to a deal to acquire Aaron Rodgers on Monday, officially ending the quarterback’s 18-year run with the Green Bay Packers.
Exhale deeply, dear Bears fan. Rodgers’ maddening 25-5 reign while starting for the Packers against Chicago is over.
All it took after years of waiting for this day was a wacky few more months of waiting — at its madcap peak when Jets cornerback Sauce Gardner took the cheesehead he got at Lambeau Field, tossed it into a backyard fire pit, declared it was turning into cheese sauce and filmed it all to recruit Rodgers.
Assume it was the melted cheesehead that cemented Rodgers’ request to be traded to the Jets.
Or the bumpy 2022 season in Green Bay that led to Rodgers seriously contemplating retirement. Or Packers President and CEO Mark Murphy saying at a high school girls basketball state tournament that Rodgers could return next season “if things don’t work out the way that we would want them (to).” Or the Jets bringing in Rodgers’ old offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett and signing familiar wide receiver Allen Lazard. Or those texts from Rodgers’ friends about the Packers shopping him, which totally didn’t offend him and make him want to inflict regret on Green Bay.
Or the money you paid the darkness retreat owner to whisper “Packers suck” into Rodgers’ cave. Nice effort.
Now it’s time for you, devoted Bears fan, to celebrate what could be a major turning point for your beloved in the NFC North.
Write thank-you notes to Gardner, Murphy and Rodgers’ secret informant friends. Burn your own stolen cheesehead, if you can stand to keep one on your property. Revel in the type of natural joy that doesn’t need ayahuasca from knowing Rodgers is no longer hovering above you in Wisconsin — or in the division standings.
And if nightmares of Rodgers return, keep that fire (responsibly) burning and follow these cleansing steps to a true, once-in-a-generation peace.
You remember this one. It has been haunting you since December 2013. Forty-six seconds to the NFC North championship. Fourth-and-8. Rodgers, who broke his collarbone during a Bears win earlier in the season, stepped to the left to avoid the blitz and found Randall Cobb behind the Bears defense for a 48-yard touchdown pass at Soldier Field.
The Packers won 33-28 for the division title, sending Rodgers to one of his 21 career playoff starts. “A character drive,” Rodgers called it.
Roll your eyes. Throw the paper in the fire. Breathe. You won’t see Rodgers as an opponent next season unless it’s in the Super Bowl. Wait, forget that nightmare within a dream and go to the next step.
Khalil Mack’s Bears debut in prime time at Lambeau Field included forcing two turnovers in less than three minutes in the second quarter as the Bears shot to a 20-0 third-quarter lead. But Rodgers returned from a knee injury in the second half to lead a monstrous comeback, hitting Cobb with a 75-yard touchdown pass for a 24-23 win.
Try not to miss the fire as you throw the crumpled paper in disgust. Visualize the second Bears-Packers game that season instead, which the Bears won 24-17 for the NFC North title. Don’t get hung up on the fact it’s the last time the Bears beat the Packers.
Rodgers threw six touchdown passes in the first half to tie an NFL record and push the Packers to a 42-0 halftime lead. They went on to win 55-14.
“I don’t think I have ever seen anything like that,” Packers coach Mike McCarthy said at the time.
Remind yourself that was a lost season anyway as you dispose of the story. Allow yourself a laugh at the Bears chaos in 2014 under coach Marc Trestman. It has been long enough. Laugh a second time when you remember all the drama Rodgers created up north all these years, half of it recently on “The Pat McAfee Show.”
Rodgers, in the midst of his fourth MVP season, ran 6 yards into the Soldier Field end zone and claimed to see a Bears fan giving him the finger with both hands. Rodgers responded by bellowing: “I own you! All my (bleeping) life! I own you! I still own you!”
The Packers won 24-14, and Rodgers left social media comedians with never-ending Bears ownership jokes.
Check to make sure no kids are around. Flip the fire a double bird as the paper burns.
The January 2011 NFC championship game, Rodgers’ only playoff game against the Bears. He threw for just 244 yards with no touchdown passes and two interceptions. But Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was injured and third-stringer Caleb Hanie couldn’t complete the game-saving drive, and the Packers won 21-14. They went on to win the only Super Bowl of Rodgers’ career.
Too much? Forget this game-by-game thing. Just burn a list of the results and remember Rodgers’ 7-10 playoff record outside of that Super Bowl run.
Then center yourself on the present: The Bears could have an ascending quarterback in Justin Fields, already have made multiple moves in free agency to bolster their 2023 roster and have 10 draft picks this year for general manager Ryan Poles to continue his rebuild.
Meanwhile, the Packers are embarking into rare uncertainty, trying to see what they have in quarterback Jordan Love in 2023 as Rodgers heads off to New York.
Smirk as you list all of the ways Chicago is better than New York. Mute New York writers on social media for a bit. Maybe for a season. Feel Rodgers fading from relevance in your mind for the first time in 15 years.
Sit back, gaze at the fire and imagine the Packers’ dominance in the rivalry going up in flames.
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