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Boston Herald
Boston Herald
12 Jan 2025
Erika Ettin


NextImg:5 top tips for dating in 2025

After 13 years of helping people find love (and sometimes dodging a few bullets along the way), I’ve seen the dating landscape evolve dramatically.

Let’s look at five tips for navigating the dating world this upcoming year.

Your dating profile is your personal trailer, and nobody buys a ticket to a boring (or blank) movie. Highlight what makes you you. For example, instead of saying, “I love traveling,” how about, “Last year, I got lost in Lisbon, befriended a street musician, and ended up playing tambourine at a beachside concert.” True story from a client of mine — and that line got her so many messages and ultimately dates.

And photos? Quality over quantity. Hinge requires six photos. For the other sites, I recommend five. Use a mix: a smiling close-up as your first shot, a full-body shot as your second, and one where you’re doing something you love or that looks interesting (like that tambourine moment). And no group shots where someone has to play “where’s Waldo?” And maybe exclude the one where you’re holding a trout. Unless trout-holding is your thing. Then, by all means, flaunt it.

In 2025, voice memos are the secret sauce of dating apps. A client of mine, Max, was struggling to stand out in his Hinge profile (not all sites have this feature). But then he recorded a 10-second voice memo: “I’ll warn you now — I have a serious addiction to croissants. Tell me your favorite bakery, and I’ll plan the first date.” Boom. Two weeks later, he’s sharing pain au chocolat with someone amazing.

The key is to keep it short (please don’t use the full 30 seconds allowed; five or 10 is perfect), playful and true to you. Your voice conveys so much personality — use it to your advantage.

I’ve had clients come to me with checklists longer than a CVS receipt: “must be 6-foot-4,” “must love cats,” “must know how to tango.” While it’s great to have standards, don’t let them box you in. Focus on how someone makes you feel.

For instance, one client was adamant about only dating fellow vegetarians. But she met a barbecue-loving carnivore from Texas who’d never tried tofu. (Don’t even get me started on seitan.) They clicked because he was kind and curious. And guess what… he now makes a tofu stir-fry for them to share.

Dating apps are amazing tools — just don’t forget that they’re a starting point. The magic happens when you move beyond the screen. Suggest a coffee date, a walk through a farmers market or a cocktail (or mocktail). Match, send a few messages back and forth, and then schedule a time to meet. That’s truly the only way to know if there’s a connection.

Dating can be exhausting. If you’re swiping through profiles like it’s your job, it’s time to pause. Remember: Your best self attracts the best matches. If dating feels more like a chore than a joy, step back. Focus on friends, hobbies, or — I don’t know — tackling that 800-page book you’ve been avoiding. (I’m looking at you, “Infinite Jest.”)

One of my favorite stories is about a client named Tom. He took a three-month dating hiatus to focus on training for a marathon. When he came back to the apps, he matched with a fellow runner. They’re now engaged, and their save-the-dates show them in matching running shoes. Cute, right?

The rules may change, but the goal remains the same. And remember, dating isn’t just about finding the right person; it’s also about becoming the best version of yourself. You’ve got this!

Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating. /Tribune News Service

The author notes that technology is great, but the magic happens when you move beyond the screen. Suggest a coffee date, a walk through a farmers market or a cocktail. (Photo Metro Creative Services)

The author notes that technology is great, but the magic happens when you move beyond the screen. Suggest a coffee date, a walk through a farmers market or a cocktail. (Photo Metro Creative Services)