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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
7 Dec 2023


NextImg:Parenting In The '80s Vs. Parenting Now

As children of the 1980s now having our own kids, we often look back at our own childhoods and think: "I can't believe my parents let me do that." Parenting back in the 1980s was simply a different ball game than parenting today. Anyway, without any further yappin' from us, here are just a few of the differences between parenting now and parenting in the '80s:

'80s: Strap excess children to roof of car

Now: Required to put children in rear-facing car seats until age 25

'80s: You're not entirely sure where your kids are between 3 and 9 pm

Now: Embed Apple AirTag under child's skin so you can track him in real time

'80s: Eat out at a restaurant as a special treat once every few months

Now: Have a home-cooked meal as a special treat once every few months

'80s: Kid asks you for $10 so he can go to dinner and the movies with his friends

Now: Kid asks you for $100 so he can get a value meal at McDonald's

'80s: Teach kids to say no to drugs

Now: Prescribe kid 17 antidepressants

'80s: Tell your daughter it's OK to be a tomboy; not every girl is the same

Now: Cut off her boobs

'80s: Kid delighted to receive totally rad He-Man castle playset for Christmas

Now: Kid upset he only got last year's model iPhone for Christmas

'80s: Check under kid's mattress for pornography

Now: Check kid's school library for pornography

'80s: Tell kid to stop playing video games 'cause they'll rot his brain

Now: Tell kid to stop playing bad video games like Fortnite and play the classics on your old NES instead

'80s: Complain about how lazy and entitled kids these days are

Now: Same

There you have it. Whether you parented some bad-to-the-bone kids in the '80s or are trying to parent some lazy entitled Gen Zers today, we can all agree: kids are weirdos.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.