I (25F) am getting married in September. My husband, Mike and I are doing a big wedding for 250 guests. I've always dreamed of having a storybook wedding. I asked my best friend Marissa (25F) to be my MOH and she happily agreed. She's been a huge help to me in every step of planning the wedding.
Marissa is in a poly relationship and she has 3 partners. Greg (24M), Brandon (27M) and Ace (22NB).
No comment.
She's been with Greg for 5 years and was the first partner she had. They added Brandon and Ace over the course of their relationship with Ace being the newest member. They all date each other and seem to be happy. I don't really "get" it if I'm being honest but it's not my business.
However the issue came into play when Mike (32M) pulled me aside and said while he loves Marissa he didn't feel like spending the wedding explaining her love life to his family. Which I understand, they are very conservative and hardly accept LGBT people as is let alone a LGBT polyset.
LGBT "polyset." By the way, it appears that at a minimum, Brandon and Ace are gay. So how is Marissa involved in this at all?
I had already reserved 4 spots of Marissa & co but my husband suggested he invite a few coworkers to take the partners spot and Marissa could come alone. I didn't want to ruin his big day so I agreed reluctantly.
I know I should have told Marissa from the get go but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So when invite went out she called me up immediately and asked why she didn't have a plus 3 invite. I explained to her exactly what I said above and she just said "oh" and hung up.
I've heard of Bridezilla. Meet MadeofHonorzilla. It's all about making the bride's wedding the Maid of Honor's special day.
Next thing I know Brandon is calling me and begging me to reconsider saying they promise they won't act like they are in a relationship but they want to be there for me.
Yes, they really want to "be there for you" by making your husband's family uncomfortable as they attempt to conduct a holy ceremony to bring two heterosexual people into a traditional union. You really "want to be there for her" by parading around in your "LGBT polyset."
Except I can hear Greg in the background telling him tell me to fuck off and that I'm am asshole and he doesn't even want to go.
Bang, we hit upon a solution.
I explain to Brandon that I already gave their "spots" to Mike's coworkers. Brandon says okay thank you and hangs up. Marissa texts me the next day saying she isn't coming unless they can go.
There you go, the Maid of Honor once again coming through for the bride.
Mike said he can't uninvite his co-workers now so it's not his problem. I told him I would add them and pay the costs and he just said if I want to spend the whole time explaining their relationship to people than so be it but he isn't wasting his time doing it and will just send people my way.
Our other friends think I'm an asshole but Mike's friend and a few of my non mutual friends don't think i am. Just want some more unbiased opinions.
So who's the asshole?
I know you're going to be shocked, but the leftwing degenerate pervert media thinks this woman's the asshole and pressured her to invite the "LGBT polyset."
The Mirror in the UK:
It's ultimately up to you who do you do or don't invite to your wedding, but it's usually expected that those close to you - especially those in your wedding party - will be able to bring their loved ones with them to celebrate your marriage.
Yes, why would we think that a marriage is about the bride and the bridegroom, as well as the parents, the people who are at the center of the ceremony. No, you're right, it's about the Non-Binary Ace and his dick-riding polycule f*ckbuddies Brandon, Greg, and Marissa.
Here's one of those clickbait mills, called "Percolately."
Bride Snubs Polyamorous Maid Of Honor's Three Partners To Appease Groom's Intolerant Family
We always have to bend to appease the circus freaks. If a bride was having a secularist wedding and the maid of honor said she was determined to wear a visible cross necklace because she thought it was important to bring the Lord's blessing to the union -- would the leftist pervert media be screaming that we must accommodate the particular beliefs of the maid of honor? Of course not.
But if she's in some kind of sweaty, grisly "polycule" with Ace, Brandon, and Greg, well, we've got to re-arrange all the seating and change all the ushers' and bridesmaids' clothing to be androgynous.
Unfortunately, this woman relented and invited the circus freaks. She wound up paying extra for them.
Edit: I am the asshole, that's for sure. I followed a lot of advice in this post and asked Mike what he thinks in the morning. He said to talk to Marissa first and see what she wants and we'll make it work. I also had him read over the post himself and he said that a lot of the comments opened his eyes on how he himself was coming off. So we both decided to call Marissa together and beg for forgiveness.
We called her and she was happy to talk. We explained our side of things but acknowledged that it was a massive fuck up and could have been handled so much better. We invited her and her partners, obviously and said we would be happy to whatever it takes to have them forgive us. She asked her partners about it and Brandon and Greg both agreed they would prefer to just "split" the set up. So Greg and Marissa would be a couple for the wedding and Brandon and Ace would be a couple.
These two are gayballz anyway (at least these two are, the third must be as well) so I don't know why they didn't immediately suggest this. I guess maybe they wanted their Special Love to be a conversation starter.
...
Last edit: Ace got out of work a few hours ago and we all got on speaker phone and had a long conversation with this post pulled up. The crew was all happy to be defended but did think people went a little harder than they would have even Greg.
Greg said "oh f*** her" on the phone, by the way, when she properly objected to have a traveling stage show company of The Aristocrats at the head table of her wedding.
He actually laughed at me calling him self absorbed because he is lol. Anyway. We're all good
they are coming. They gave permission to tell Mike's parents. We called them after and they understood but said don't let Nanni know or she'll be asking questions all night. It's been a huge relief and I think we learned how to communicate better as a couple.I think you need to both learn how to set boundaries and to stand up to pressure from outsiders.
Via the Boycast. It's a funny segment. They keep doing this kind of stories. Their usual take is that while they don't mind people with "wacky" lifestyle choices (I love that word), they continue being annoyed by the unreasonableness of people who've made these "wacky" decisions demanding that normies drop everything to re-architect their lives to accommodate their wacky wants and wacky needs.