I am probably like most men over the age of 50 in that I stick with the same hygiene and toiletry brands out of familiarity and habit. To keep me as a customer, all the manufacturer has to do is…nothing. Even periodic price increases don’t affect my product loyalty.

Yet repeatedly in recent years I have had to switch brands because modern corporate business practices demand that products be altered, shrunk, or cheapened to goose short term profits, or be connected to offensively woke advertising campaigns.

Most recently, I have had to give up on Mitchum roll-on deodorant because three of the last five bottles I’ve bought had a ball that doesn’t roll. I had always liked the way it applied, it didn’t feel sticky, etc., and I didn’t even balk at price increases. But suddenly they have apparently changed their packaging such that the product can no longer reliably do its core function – transfer the deodorant from the bottle to my armpits.

To paraphrase Ian Fleming, one defective bottle is happenstance. A second defective bottle is coincidence. Three times is elite MBA action. It is evident that someone either at Revlon (maker of Mitchum) or at the vendor supplying the bottles decided to save a cent or two by reducing quality. Instead, they ran off the lifetime revenue stream of a loyal, repeat customer.

Of note, I switched to Mitchum a few years ago only because Dove ran me off with a transgender advertising campaign. I might still be using Dove anti-perspirant had they not run that disturbing campaign.

I started using Zest soap in my college years because it didn’t leave me with the industrial cleaning smell of the Dial Gold soap of my childhood. I then habitually used Zest for decades, and again, all they had to do to keep my business was…nothing. But they couldn’t help themselves. The product was shrinkflated a few years ago, which probably looked like a great idea on some spreadsheet – higher gross profit per ounce! But to me it was an annoyance, the bar was more frequently at the sliver stage and I had to grab a new bar more frequently. So, after all those years I came back home to Dial, now that it has an unscented option.

I shaved with Gillette razors for decades until Gillette ran its infamous woke ad campaign accusing its loyal customers of being sexual predators. For me, learning that Gillette was publicly fighting the reputation of being the brand of choice for sexual predators made switching to a competitor an easy choice. Once again, all Procter & Gamble / Gillette had to do to keep my business was…nothing. They could even jack the price up higher and it wouldn’t cause me to switch. But they had to insult me. Since that notorious ad campaign, P&G has had to twice write off billions of dollars in impaired assets for its Gillette brand, totaling almost $10 billion.

There is a crisis in corporate management in that it does not value the effective equity and long-term revenue stream of its most loyal customers. A customer for life is so much more valuable than a temporary increase in margin due to cheapening a brand. When the cost to keep a loyal customer is $0, but a corporation chases that customer away through destructive product gimmickry or offensive advertising, it is corporate malpractice.

Corporate boards need to start policing the destructors they have hired to run their companies.

On a lighter note, here’s a young Roger Clemens reminding you that you’re not really clean unless you’re Zestfully clean.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]