Mr. CBD is unable to present you the regular, chef-prepared, Sunday Food Thread that you have come to expect. So with apologies from management, I have been called to kitchen duty today. Your regular scheduled food thread should be back next week. For now, here are a few items to chew on:

What’s Cooking Today? Spoonbread!

Mrs. Throckmorton and I both love cornbread. She is also a dairy super-achiever. When she states about a dish that one of us has prepared, “I think I know what this needs…” that means she is about to add sour cream or cheese. Or both.

For me it’s butter that I love. Rolls, cornbread, etc. serve as a medium to deliver butter. When I was a child and given an ear of corn to eat, I’d re-butter the cob after the corn was gone, and then just suck the butter right back out of the cob.

Anyhow, my wife decided to make a southern dish this week that brings cornbread and dairy together – “spoonbread.” It’s a very moist cornbread that really can’t be sliced so much as it is scooped. There are all sorts of recipes online to make it, but the one she made included a LOT of butter, plus sour cream and also cheese. It was fantastic.

Any spoonbread aficionados out there?

By the way (and please don’t tell Mr. CBD), I am going to have some spoonbread for breakfast this weekend, and I’m putting maple syrup on it!

Lesbian Potluck

I have a gay family member who tells a funny story about the time she and her mate moved to a new town for a job. In an attempt to make some new friends in this town, they attended a potluck event sponsored by a lesbian organization of some sort at the local university.

The two of them prepared and cooked a casserole, which they took with them to the event. When they placed the casserole on the buffet table, it was the only cooked food at the event. Most of the attendees simply brought off-the-shelf bags of chips or cookies. A few attendees went the extra mile 10 yards by bringing a tub of potato salad or something cold from the grocery store deli case.

Our family has since adopted the term “lesbian potluck” for any event to which you might bring food of some sort, but for which there is no expectation of putting any effort into cooking or food prep.

Center Cut Brownies

Brownies are a staple dessert in my house, not only because they are easy to make, but also because I like cake-type desserts to be very moist, and I am able to make super-moist brownies by adding extra vegetable oil and then undercooking them.

I was shocked to learn recently that some people prefer brownies whose cut includes the outside edge, which tend to be harder and drier than the pure gooey goodness of center cut brownies.

As for me, what I do now is cut off the entire exterior perimeter of the brownies after I’ve pulled them out of the oven – about ½ inch from the perimeter of the pan. Then I cut the brownies into squares, which are all pure, center-cut with no crisp edges. As for those crisp edges, they can be repurposed as an addition to vanilla ice cream.

Are you a center-cut brownie person, or one of those puzzling people who likes crispy brownies from the perimeter?

Ricotta Cheese – the Flavor Dehancer

Am I the only person for whom ricotta cheese serves as a flavor eliminator?

I’ve noticed over the years that the more ricotta cheese there is on a lasagna, the less flavor it seems to have. I never fully assigned blame to the ricotta cheese until I had a pizza recently that had its flavor wiped out by the addition of ricotta.

My wife and I have a favorite pizza joint in town, which has a really spicy sauce and some zesty toppings. One time we decided to try their signature pizza which also includes smears of ricotta cheese all over it. The spicy and zesty flavors just evaporated for me. All I tasted was pasty blandness.

I’m assuming this is just a defect of my tastebuds.

Buck’s Discount, Healthy-ish Tropical Dessert

Eliminating weekday desserts is more of a goal for me than an actual lifestyle that I rigorously adhere to, but I am getting a little better about having more healthy desserts during the week, and then saving the cakes and sugar bombs until the weekend.

This is one of my favorites – an 80-calorie cup of coconut non-fat Greek yogurt, with some banana slices added, along with a spoonful of pineapple tidbits. It may not be quite as good as a Dairy Queen tropical blizzard, but it’s still pretty darn tasty, and about as healthy as a dessert is going to get.

What is your go-to for a “healthy” dessert option?

Tupperware Impaired

Mrs. Throckmorton is an amazing woman. I can barely begin to describe just what a sweet, loving, generous, compassionate, and all-around amazing person she is.

But she has one glaring flaw – she is “Tupperware impaired.” Technically our food storage containers are Rubbermaid, not Tupperware, but the brand name is not the issue. The issue is that if she has some leftovers, she will grab a food storage container that is many times too big.

The funny thing is that she is the one in our marriage with the scientific mind. She is very smart. Yet, if she has half of a 15 oz can of garbanzo beans to refrigerate, she somehow eyeballs the half-gallon container as the appropriate size for 7 ounces of leftover garbanzos.

In her defense, she has to deal with my “salad making impairment.” I can’t explain how or why, but after I’m done making salad, there is always lettuce and blue cheese on the counter and floor, which I somehow never even see until she comes behind me to clean it up.

The Dishwasher Re-Arranger

Almost every household has a dishwasher re-arranger – the person who periodically repositions the dishes and cutlery. I confess to being that person in my household.

Who is the dishwasher re-arranger in your household?

If you are that person, what are your protocols? No spooning spoons? Forks pointed up or down? Any special rules regarding bowls?

Also, what is it called when two forks are spooning?

Throckmorton’s First Law of Live Music: “If there’s an upright bass in the band, it’s probably going to be good.”

If you’re dragging at day’s end and you still need to get into the kitchen to make some supper, a little psychobilly music from the Reverend Horton Heat can get you moving again. Here’s the good Reverend performing “Let Me Teach You How to Eat.”

If there is any lesson to be learned from today’s Food Thread, I think we can all agree that lesson is: “Do NOT take Mr. CBD for granted.” He’ll be back in the kitchen next week. Management might even decide to comp you a free appetizer in consideration for what you were served today.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]