Can we get that put on a Hallmark card?
Happy Father's Day to the men who knew they weren't ready to be dads
In a post-Roe world, we recognize the men who knew expanding their family was not tenable and the men who knew delaying parenthood was a form of family planning
Euphemism alert: Abortion is just "delaying parenthood."
It's a very long delay for the child involved.
I'll also take a moment to think about a different man who, like me, knew he wasn't ready to be a parent. Not yet. A man who, 14 years ago, held my hand through a seven-minute surgical abortion that gave us both the chance to go our separate ways and be the parents we are today.
Like the 1 in 4 U.S. women who will have an abortion in their lifetime, men benefit hugely from access to abortion care.
Like the 1 in 4 U.S. women who will have an abortion in their lifetime, men benefit hugely from access to abortion care. While data detailing how abortion affects men is scarce at best, one 2019 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that when men 20 or younger were involved in a pregnancy and their partner had an abortion, they were four times more likely to graduate from college. Another study suggests an estimated 1 in 5 men have been involved in an abortion, though researchers note that the number is likely higher due to prevailing abortion stigma that can deter men from speaking about their experiences.
In 2022, after the Supreme Court's draft opinion overturning Roe v. Wade was leaked, I spoke to a few men who were willing to publicly share how they have benefited from abortion access.
"I wouldn't be a father without abortion," one father, Andrew, told me. "Before we met, both my wife and I had experiences with abortion. ... If we had not been able to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, we wouldn't be happily married with a 5-year-old. It would have taken both of our lives in completely different directions."
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As Jennifer Reich, a professor of sociology at the University of Colorado, told The New York Times in 2022: "Everybody benefits when individuals can control their own reproduction, but the benefit can be invisible for cis men, since they don't absorb the risks of pregnancy and it's not written on their bodies."
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And so, on the second Father's Day without the constitutional right to abortion care, I hope we think about the men who stayed by their spouse's side as they have endured medically necessary, lifesaving abortions, as well as the men who -- like their pregnant partners -- have been forced to navigate cruel anti-abortion laws that only compound the trauma and heartache.
"Medically necessary, lifesaving abortions" are legal everywhere, of course.