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22 Nov 2023


NextImg:Disney's Wish Earns Rotten Rating As It Premieres

C'mon, just a little more before the Thanksgiving holiday.

South Park lampooned Disney's Lucasfilm unit for having a single creative impulse: "Put a chick in it! And make her gay! And make it laaaaame!"

LucasFilm was very angry about that.

And Disney, a rumor has it, was alarmed by the episode because it scored a direct hit on the M-She-U: The rumor goes that the lesbian-coded Captain Marvel was expressly outed as gay, but the South Park episode embarrassed Disney so much that they re-edited the film to delete the confirmation that Captain Marvel is a gay.

Tessa Thompson, a LGBTQ annoying leftwinger Stronk Woman of Color, plays a race-bent female character named "Valkyrie," an Asgardian, who is now black, of course. Because Thompson says she's bisexual, of course she had to also announce that the character she plays is bisexual or lesbian as well, declaring that Valkerie is a king, not a queen, but that she'll have to find her own (female) queen.

"I think first of all as king, as new king, she needs to find her queen. That'll be her first order of business. She has some ideas. Keep you posted."

What ideas? Well what about Captain Marvel with her super-lesbian haircut?

So Valkyrie showed up for a cameo in The Marvels -- "Put another chick in it! Make her gay!" -- and, according to a scooper with a good track record of tips fed to him by Marvel insiders, had a moment with Captain Marvel referring to having previously been lovers. "We work better as friends," Captain Muffle says, implying, of course, that they had previously been more than friends.

This is in a movie otherwise written for six-year-olds.

I believe that. Disney caters harrrrrd to a tiny niche audience of Twitter perverts and sad middle-aged women who write slash pornography about cartoon characters. They changed Rise of Skywalker to feature a brief, ambiguous kiss between Rey and Kylo Ren because the "Reylos" -- sad women who flick their beans to Star Wars tv shows -- demanded confirmation of their fan-fiction romance between the two.

For some reason, Disney thinks this tiny audience of twenty or thirty thousand people (at most!) needs to be at the very center of their marketing plans.

Meanwhile, The Marvels is so dead that Brie Larson appeared on the Today show and instead of mentioning The Marvels, she talked about a TV show she's doing for Apple for four minutes. Not a single mention of the alleged "blockbuster" movie that's in the theaters right now.

Which brings me to the next Disney Disaster, opening today: The barely-disguised anti-Trump, pro-antifa propaganda cartoon for very young children, Wish.

Critics are not being kind, giving it a rotten 49% rating at RottenTomatoes. And that's for all critics, a category that contain a lot of activists and chills. Among "top critics," the film only gets 32% fresh.

Update: Whoops!

As I mentioned before, Film Threat's Allan Ng calls it "the worst Disney animation I have ever seen."

Alachia Queen has three observations: 1, this Disney film is aimed at the youngest demographic of any Disney cartoon, except possibly Bambi. She says it's a "very Hard G" rating. 2, despite the tone being not just childish but for very young children, it has surprisingly "mature" and "dark" themes, which seems incongruent with the very young audience it's appealing to. And 3, that's because the entire movie is a very thinly veiled anti-Trump "fascism" allegory, with a young Stronk Diverse Woman activist -- the main character is a Hispanic woman and explicitly an activist -- leading "La Revolution!" against him and his fellow evil men.

She's very embarrassed to find herself involved in the culture war, but says she can't avoid seeing it. She says it's blatant.

After Film Threat posted its review of the movie, Chris Gore said he got lots of calls from employees at Disney's animated film studio, complaining that the talent of the studio had been greatly degraded by the hiring of unqualified diversity hires whose idea of storytelling is basically Twitter-level political activism. He says Disney employees, and ex-employees, are calling to say that all men and all whites are being pushed aside to make room for inexperienced POCs and especially WOCs. In some cases, the Old White Men are fired; in other cases, they leave to work at other companies due to the hostile work environment at Disney.

Incidentally, the plot of Wish is about young diverse people pushing aside and Old White King. The star says the heroine's story is about "stepping into her power."

This will probably be another bomb, but who knows. People have to watch something over the Thanksgiving weekend, and it's this or Captain Marvel.

Or Trolls Band Together, another movie that is aimed at a very young female audience, and hopefully without the heavy-handed political messaging.

The opening is bad -- it's made less money in Tuesday previews than The Marvels made in Thursday previews. Current tracking predicts a $75 million global opening weekend, and by "weekend," we mean Tuesday through Sunday. Plus sneak peaks from this past Saturday. In other words, the opening "weekend" is a full seven day week.


Here's something that may save Disney animation: Dreamworks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg says that AI will allow studios to fire 90% of all human animators needed to make cartoons and computer-rendered movies.

What great, progressive companies.