In a truly disgusting episode of her BBC Sounds podcast Miss Me?, pop star Lily Allen revealed that she couldn’t remember how many of her own children she has aborted. Along with her cohost Miquita Oliver, the singer laughed as she recounted her trips to the clinic, accompanied by the men who “romantically” offered to pay for the procedure.

The podcast episode was titled “Lily Allen thinks we need to start talking about CONTRACEPTION.” 

“I remember,” said Allen to the amused giggles of her cohost, “before [my IUDs, life] was a complete disaster area, like… I’d get pregnant all the time.” Lily went on to sing a strange and disturbing melody.

“Abortions, I’ve had a few. But then again, I can’t remember exactly how many,” she sang.

Allen’s twisted ballad about her past was not taken lightly by audiences on YouTube and TikTok. Though more than a quarter of American women have had at least one abortion, there are still societal taboos around flippantly addressing it. Even people who align with the pro-choice movement flooded the comments with dissent and horror.

“I find this conversation incredibly insensitive. I’m very much pro-choice, but I’m genuinely shocked by what was said,” commented one user. 

“I’m pro choice but I’m revolted by this,” said another listener. “It’s one thing to need one, it’s another to do it this way and brag about it no less, utterly vile.”

These commentators, however, have been declared oppressive by writers on the left. 

In an opinion piece for Metro, Alice Wilson reflected on her own hesitancy to applaud Allen after first hearing the podcast. “The reason I stumbled on Allen’s words is because, like you, I have been raised in a patriarchal society,” she wrote. Instead of judging Allen’s tone and the frequency of her abortions, Wilson avoided “conditional acceptance” by embracing it all. 

Ultimately, Wilson decided that she was delighted with the “humor [and] levity” that Allen used to discuss her abortions.

Journalist Polly Vernon likewise praised the podcasters in her own Substack piece, specifically for their authenticity and blunt honesty. “There’s just… truth to them. I think they are a force for good, I really do.” To Vernon, the podcasters’ undeniable openness is a virtue in itself. 

Vernon further speculated that many viewers were disturbed by Lily’s confession because it “means it just wasn’t a terribly big deal.” Vernon thinks it is crucial that women move on and forget their abortions.

“One of the biggest, clingiest narratives around abortion is It’s The Most Difficult Decision A Woman Will Ever Have To Make,” wrote Vernon. “Wishing misery, guilt and shame on women, is absurd!” Vernon, who herself has had an abortion, insists that the decision is less consequential than selecting a pair of shoes for a work event.

The reactions of viewers from the comments section ardently contradicted Vernon’s opinions. Women in the comments section shared their own stories, full of emotional baggage from past abortions. 

“I had an abortion when I was 18 and it still haunts me and I live with guilt every day,” said one user. 

Another described her abortion as a “weird, out of body experience.” 

To these women and other commenters, decisions to abort are not easy to forget. 

The reality is that Allen has killed “I want to say five? Four or five?” of her own children. There should be stigmas around this decision. Instead of facetiousness, the conversation should be chock full of taboos, shame, and regret.

Guilt is not a misogynistic tool aimed at destroying women who have had abortions. The journalist Polly Vernon claims that contrition weakens women, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Guilt and regret enable change and growth, even for women who have chosen abortion in the past. If society completely erases the stigma around ending the life of an unborn child, not only will millions of children suffer death, but their mothers will suffer as well. Without stigmas that encourage and allow these women to deeply mourn their aborted children, they have no reprieve. 

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