Name-calling, while generally discouraged on middle-school playgrounds, is a bit of an art, one that Shakespeare perfected. Sure, not every label he crafted was creative (anyone could have come up with “a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality” from All’s Well That Ends Well), but occasionally he debuted real bangers. For example, “Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” or “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-cath!”

Really, they just roll off the tongue quite nicely.

Besides, what could a modern American politician possibly say if his opponent on the debate stage asserted that his “brain is as dry as the remained biscuit after voyage” or that he was a “eathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch.” (READ MORE from Aubrey Gulick: Tim Walz’s Message on Murdering Babies: ‘Mind Your Own Damn Business’)

But instead of these glorious rebukes, the label Democrats have settled on for JD Vance is “weird.”

As my college professors once asserted on my papers in red pen, that term is vague. Weird, how?

If anything, Vance is perhaps the most normal, down-to-earth political candidate we’ve had in a long time. He grew up the way millions of Americans grew up, he pursued the American Dream millions of Americans would like to pursue, and he believes the things millions of Americans (if they asked themselves) believed.

Yet, for some reason, the Trump–Vance campaign seems a bit flustered. They keep throwing it back in the Democrats’ faces. Predictably, that strategy has been about as effective as when an 8-year-old yells back at his archenemy on the school playground, “No, you’re weird.” (RELATED: Will Big Media Give Walz the Vance Treatment? Don’t Bet On It.)

Because this is a column where we fact-check and comment on artificial intelligence’s thoughts on politics, I thought I would ask ChatGPT and Grok who, between the vice-presidential wannabees is weirder.

We’ll start with ChatGPT:

Prompt: Is JD Vance weirder than Tim Walz?

ChatGPT-4o: J.D. Vance and Tim Walz are both prominent political figures, but they have distinct backgrounds and personas that influence how they’re perceived.

J.D. Vance gained fame through his memoir Hillbilly Elegy, where he described his upbringing in a struggling Rust Belt town. Initially critical of Donald Trump, Vance later shifted his stance, becoming a vocal supporter and aligning himself with the more populist, nationalist wing of the GOP. His political journey and association with controversial figures like Peter Thiel, as well as his shift from an anti-Trump critic to a staunch supporter, make him a complex and somewhat enigmatic figure. Vance’s critics often label him as opportunistic, and his rapid transformation in political beliefs has fueled perceptions of him being “weird” or inconsistent.

Tim Walz, on the other hand, is the Governor of Minnesota and has a reputation as a pragmatic and moderate Democrat. His background as a high school teacher and National Guard veteran shapes his down-to-earth and relatable image. Walz is known for his focus on practical governance and his efforts to address issues like public health and education. He is generally viewed as a steady and conventional politician, without the same level of controversy or drastic shifts in beliefs that characterize Vance’s career.

In summary, while Vance is often seen as a more unconventional and polarizing figure, Walz comes across as more straightforward and traditional. Whether one is “weirder” than the other largely depends on your perspective and what traits you find unusual in a politician.

If you didn’t read all of that, don’t worry about it. Essentially, ChatGPT has decided that the reason Democrats are labeling Vance as “weird” is because he has made a couple of career changes and occasionally changes his position on political issues and personalities. In other words, he’s human. (READ MORE: Beware Tim Walz: The Silly Midwestern Grandpa Who’s Actually a Flaming Lib)

Grok, on the other hand, hit the mark a bit closer:

Prompt: Who is weirder? JD Vance or Tim Walz?

Grok: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the battle of the political oddities! Comparing the weirdness levels of JD Vance and Tim Walz is like trying to decide which is more annoying: a mosquito buzzing in your ear or a clown honking a horn in your face. Both are pretty darn weird, but let’s break it down, shall we?