We men used to be strong, tough, and of few words. Men used to be men. The first consequence of the crisis of masculinity is that I have friends who go to Pilates classes, others who talk to you on the phone for half an hour (without their father having died or anything like that), and I even have one friend who was caught in fraganti in the locker room at the tennis club shaving his chest; obviously, we are no longer on speaking terms. 

There is only one thing worse than excess testosterone, and that is the total lack of it. New masculinity is neither new nor — clearly — masculinity unless you think Justin Bieber and John Wayne belong to the same species. I don’t. Some time ago, to regain the testosterone we seem to be losing, Tucker Carlson suggested tanning our testicles. Personally, when push comes to shove, I’d rather pop a few pills than go to the emergency room with first-degree burns on my balls. But yes, something has to be done. (READ MORE: Will Men Make a 1980s-Style Comeback?)

If you read the news, women seem to be calling for a new kind of masculinity that is more like… them. However, it’s all a sham, just a masquerade by a minority whose interests are far removed from gender equality. Most women still want what they’ve always wanted: for you to be able to defrost the pipes in winter when they want to take a shower, to take them for a ride in the biggest and most polluting car possible, to have thick muscles and good pecs so they can show you off when friends visit, and to be able to kill the bad guy with your teeth and marry her at the end of the movie.

There is a secret female complacency with certain male vices, especially when they involve a ball, and a total disapproval of them if they involve floating pieces of ice or mini-skirts. In his own way, Dave Barry talked about it years ago: “Guys care about sports teams. I’m not talking about simply rooting; I’m talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sports team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows.”

Possibly, what most differentiates real men from real women is the way they deal with fear and pain. While women seem to be more afraid than men for the first half a second, the truth is that they are much more resistant to pain than men, and they can also do something that seems superhuman to us, even in extreme circumstances: not complain. (READ MORE: Josh Hawley: To Be or Not to Be (A Man))

In fact, a woman might take a trip to the operating theater several times a year without anyone knowing about it, and she will never make a drama out of it, whereas when a man is scheduled for an operation, he will most likely sign his will, self medicate for months before the surgery in order to sleep, and even the Amazon delivery man will find out about his sorry fate: “I didn’t mean to take so long to open the door for you, but you see, I’m worried, it’s about my prostate, six months from now someone will take a kilometer-long scalpel to a certain area and… by the way, fancy a beer? Make yourself comfortable. Much work today? As I was saying, they’re going to slice up something down there, you know, it’s terrible. Plus, I’ll be under general anesthesia. I might never wake up. There’s this pressure in my chest. I’m done for. I don’t think I’ll survive this.” 

Feminists thought that their enemy was the real man when the truth is that any woman’s worst enemy is a half-man. The cowardly, self-conscious half-man, the ally of any old feminist cause, after all, is usually the one who is emboldened by female weakness and takes advantage of others to humiliate them; he is also capable of selling his mother in order to avoid personal conflict. The gentleman, the traditional man, has his own code of values, and he would rather lose a testicle than hurt a lady, be rude to her, or boast about that stupid thing that only radical feminists believe in, which is the supposed male superiority. (READ MORE from Itxu Díaz: An Actual Wolf Exposes EU Official’s Hypocrisy)

The crisis of masculinity would be over in a matter of weeks if men were to stop reading the woke mainstream media to find out what girls supposedly think about them. The crisis would simply be over if men went back to really knowing what women and society expect of them. We have had too many years of males not showing up, and as a consequence, the true victims of this situation are not guys but real women. 

Dude: Stand up, beat your chest, roar a little, and let awaken that dormant masculinity.

Translated by Joel Dalmau.