“I think I can understand that feeling about a [homemaker’s] work being like that of Sisyphus (who was the stone-rolling gentleman). But it is surely the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes?” — C.S. Lewis

Okay, I will admit that I am old — a Baby Boomer. I was in high school when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs at tennis and Helen Reddy’s tune, I Am Woman, celebrated it. I was the suburb-dwelling daughter of working parents — my mother worked because she wanted to, not because we needed the money. While I wanted and expected to have a career, I hoped eventually to be a wife and mother with my own home, decorated with the antiques I loved, with handmade quilts and rustic barnwood walls (hey, it was the 70s).

My husband and I were married at ages 24 and 23, respectively. He had served four years in the Marines, and I had graduated from college. He went to college to study engineering, and I worked. Then we had kids, and I stayed home. It wasn’t easy for my husband to endure listening to co-workers rave about their new cars and exotic vacations, but we believed that the time and money we were putting into our family was worth far more than fun trips, fancy cars, or a big house. (READ MORE: The Star Trek Election III: Men vs. Women)

During the 80s and 90s, I worked (from home) for a publication called Welcome Home, which was a nice little grassroots monthly journal founded by three women who were fed up with the slick magazines that celebrated working mothers, as if that were the only intelligent choice for modern women. Articles were written by the readers, who were mothers who had chosen to stay at home to rear their children. I was privileged to help those readers polish their prose, and to associate with brilliant, creative women who elected to “put their families first, without putting themselves last.” It was a wonderful resource for moms before the internet made online forums possible.

Isn’t Feminism About Letting Women Make Choices?

YouTube, X, Instagram, and other social media platforms are loaded with women who make videos about their interests: showing how they do their makeup, cook exotic meals, model what they wear to work, or create intricate craft items. But the so-called traditional wives doing the same thing — showcasing their domestic lives online — are being excoriated and condemned by feminist busybodies who think they know better.

Hannah Neeleman, proprietress of Ballerina Farm and the mother of eight, welcomed a reporter from the Times of London into her home, only to end up with a hit piece questioning her choices and implying that she is overly subservient to her husband, Daniel. Written by Megan Agnew, the story essentially accused Neeleman, whose husband comes from a wealthy family, of creating an online “fantasy,” while she is simply marketing her farm’s goods through beautifully presented social media — like every other influencer out there. Another thing Agnew disparaged in her article was how Neeleman never put down her six-month-old baby during the four hours Agnew was at the farm, and how the kids were always about. Call me crazy, but this does not strike me as particularly unusual. (READ MORE: Vance Is Right. Our Society Is Plagued by Childless Cat Ladies.)

Wasn’t the feminist movement about allowing women choices about how to live their lives, free of the judgment of others?

Neeleman, and other influencers who model domestic tranquility, are happy. She was happy as a ballerina, and she is happy now running her home and farm and caring for her kids. But the women who criticize her don’t believe this. Even the couple’s weekly dates have been criticized as somehow oppressive.

The Food Channel’s Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond (who also happens to be married to a wealthy man), has been celebrating home life for nearly two decades. Somehow, being happily involved in domestic life has become a sinister, dangerous thing.

Along with this message has come the damaging implication that men are not to be trusted and that they are toxic and selfish. While this is certainly true about some men, after decades of being told “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” is it any wonder that men are essentially saying, “Okay, since you don’t need me, I’m not sticking around?”

A Generation of Women Don’t Know How to be Wives

In selling the idea that every woman should attend college and pursue a “meaningful” career outside the home, our society has created a generation of women who don’t know how to cook, clean, or care for children. Oh, they may be able to decorate cookies or decoupage a tray, but when it comes to planning 21 balanced meals a week, week after week, or cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner, I’d guess that very few of them could step up.

There is nothing wrong with women becoming well-educated and seeking satisfying work, but this is mostly the purview of middle-class white women, who are remaining childless and unmarried in unprecedented numbers. Often, they reach their 30s and experience sudden concern that their biological clocks are running out, and look around to see that all of the “good” men are taken. (READ MORE: Title IX Expansion Is Rejected by the States)

So, they turn to medical science — an expensive way to turn back the clock and get what they want. But is it? A recent documentary tells the story of a Dutch man who has fathered, through the donation of his sperm, possibly more than 1,000 children. The women and families involved had no idea. Or, women can take Rapamycin, a drug used to prevent organ rejection, currently being tested at Columbia University’s fertility center to delay menopause. It’s being touted as having positive health outcomes for women, but the jury is still out as to whether it will be associated with higher numbers of breast and uterine cancer.

Explaining her participation in the study, one woman said in a segment on NBC’s Today in April that it gives women “more agency … we have this narrow window of time to make a career, get established, find a house, find a mate, raise a family … in this small amount of time we are asking modern women to do everything.”

Really, “we” are asking women to do this? So, someone else has created this situation for her? As they say, this sounds like a personal problem to me. One my grandmother never had.

Hannah Neeleman started having kids young and has eight of them. Again, this, rather than artificially delaying motherhood, is criticized as eccentric and unbelievable, even though both Neeleman and her husband come from very large families. She has said that she feels the most empowered just after giving birth.

The love a mother feels for her child is incomparable. Sure, parenthood is exhausting, expensive, taxes your problem-solving abilities to the max, and you sometimes wonder about the road not taken, but it is also ennobling, heart-expanding, exhilarating, and just plain fun. Yes, some doors close when you choose to have children, but a lot of others open up.

So, how have we gotten to the point where marrying in your 20s, cooperating in raising a family, and giving unselfish, loving service to spouse and home life are demeaning, and not considered the highest and best use of a woman’s time?

Oh, yeah. Through good intentions. We know where the path paved with those leads.