On January 20, Melania Trump and Usha Vance will assume the historic roles of first and second ladies of the United States, stepping into positions shaped by centuries of tradition and change. Each woman brings her unique style to the role but often faces intense media scrutiny.
In my biography, The Mysterious Mrs. Nixon, Pat Nixon described the role of first lady as “the hardest unpaid job in the world.” As first lady scholar Diana Carlin notes, “The role is not constitutionally provisioned; it’s not legislatively provisioned. It’s simply happened over time.” The role of the second lady is even less defined than that of the first lady. (RELATED: The Mrs. Nixon I Have Always Loved)
Throughout her husband’s career, Mrs. Nixon weathered numerous political storms with grace and composure. Even after leaving office, Mrs. Nixon remained one of America’s most beloved first ladies, appearing on Gallup’s Top Ten Most Admired Women list 14 times.
How did Pat Nixon maintain her dignity, poise, and popularity despite the political drama surrounding her husband? How did she navigate the challenges of being second lady and first lady without alienating the press or public? In 1969, Mrs. Nixon told UPI reporter Helen Thomas that her guiding principle was to “follow the Golden Rule. I was taught it when I was very young, and I never lost it.” The Golden Rule is simple, yet profound: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
This principle is not easy to uphold in Washington’s political swamp. Yet Pat Nixon stayed true to herself and her core beliefs, even as she longed for a more private life. Her example offers valuable lessons for first and second ladies, including Mrs. Trump and Mrs. Vance. After researching Mrs. Nixon for the past four years, I offer what I believe might be Pat Nixon’s Ten Golden Rules for first and second ladies.
1. Put Family First
Mrs. Nixon always considered her daughters, Tricia and Julie, her greatest legacy. She would have agreed with Jackie Kennedy’s observation: “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters.”
2. Chart Your Own Path
Mrs. Kennedy founded the White House Historical Society, setting a precedent for each first lady to have a “signature project.” Pat Nixon, however, had a broader vision. She famously said, “People are my project.” This philosophy allowed her to champion multiple initiatives, including volunteerism and programs for women and children.
3. Reach Out to Those in Need
As second lady, Mrs. Nixon was the first to visit a leper colony in 1955. When asked if she hesitated to shake hands with lepers, she replied, “No, because I honestly feel that when you do what you know is right, God will take care of you. I was not afraid.” As first lady, she led efforts to make the White House accessible to the blind, hearing impaired, and disabled — years ahead of her time.
4. Keep Calm and Carry On
In 1958, when a mob in Caracas nearly assassinated her and her husband, Mrs. Nixon comforted the panicked wife of the Venezuelan foreign minister. In 1969, she became the inaugural first lady to visit an active combat zone, traveling in an open helicopter during the Vietnam War.
5. Be Authentic
Pat Nixon’s genuine, simple approach resonated with people worldwide. She wrote, “People can sense when another is friendly and genuinely interested. A smile is the universal language.”
6. Recognize the Power of “Soft” Diplomacy
Mrs. Nixon’s global tours as second lady and her diplomacy as first lady yielded lasting benefits. Her rapport with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai led to the famous “panda diplomacy” after President Nixon’s 1972 trip to China. This goodwill effort still helps keep international tensions at bay while the pandas delight generations of Americans at our national zoos.
7. Remember the White House is “The People’s House”
Mrs. Nixon instructed her staff to avoid calling the White House “The Mansion,” emphasizing that it was “The People’s House.” She opened it for evening tours to accommodate working Americans, making it accessible to everyone. (RELATED: Jill Biden: The Worst First Lady Ever)
8. Treat Everyone Like a Head of State
In his eulogy for Pat Nixon, Senator Bob Dole noted that she treated everyone — from the cook to the king — with equal respect and warmth.
9. Elevate Women
From her global goodwill trips as second lady to her advocacy as first lady, Mrs. Nixon consistently advocated for women’s rights. She pushed for women in government, supported the Equal Rights Amendment, and was the original first lady to speak publicly about reproductive rights.
10. Stay Humble and Remember Your Roots
As I note in my book, “In her heart and mind, she was always just the California girl next door.”
Pat Nixon proves that grace and grit are timeless tools for navigating the challenges of America’s most visible, yet undefined, roles.
# # #
READ MORE: