The rumor that Barack and Michelle Obama are headed toward a divorce has begun to spread in recent weeks. Speculation picked up after Michelle Obama skipped out on attending Jimmy Carter’s funeral and became even more pronounced when the Obamas announced that Barack would attend President Donald Trump’s inauguration while Michelle would not.
Today, that chatter got louder when former View co-host Meghan McCain and Puck senior political correspondent Tara Palmeri gave legitimacy to the rumor on McCain’s podcast, Citizen McCain With Meghan McCain.
“Fast and furious loud, I have been hearing this rumor that the Obamas are getting a divorce by reputable people,” said McCain. “I’m not talking about TMZ. I’m not talking about Perez Hilton — although I love him, he’s my friend. I’m talking about like very serious journalists telling me that they’re hearing that the Obama divorce rumors are true.”
When McCain asked Palmeri if she had heard that as well, she responded: “Oh yeah! I mean I’ve certainly heard it for a while, even before Michelle said she wasn’t coming to the inauguration…. But yeah, we’ve heard that for a long time. Like I’ve just heard that they live separate lives.” She seconded McCain’s assertion that the rumor wasn’t coming just from tabloids: “[A] lot of the sources that I like am hearing this through, they’re very political. Like this isn’t like TMZ crap that’s telling me about it.”
Palmeri is extremely well connected, as, prior to joining Puck, she was chief national correspondent for Politico and White House correspondent for ABC News. That lends greater weight to the idea that the divorce rumors are percolating in informed political circles rather than just in tabloids.
Palmeri is hardly alone in concluding that the Obamas live separate lives. Some sources have suggested that Michelle is known to primarily reside at the couple’s home in Martha’s Vineyard, while Barack’s home base is D.C.’s Kalorama neighborhood. The couple has not been spotted together since Dec. 15, when they got dinner with their daughters. Prior to that, they had last been spotted out together in August at the Democratic National Convention. During the presidential campaign, both campaigned for Kamala Harris, but they never did so together (apart from their appearance at the DNC).
Perhaps in an effort to allay the divorce rumors, Barack posted a birthday tribute to his wife on Jan. 17. “Happy birthday to the love of my life,” he said, adding, “You fill every room with warmth, wisdom, humor, and grace – and you look good doing it.”
McCain noted that Barack’s post featured an objectively bad photo of Michelle. “For me, it didn’t help the rumors,” said McCain, “and like why are you putting this like shi**y picture of your wife up?” Palmeri meanwhile speculated that the photo could possibly be akin to the happy-couple photos celebrities post prior to announcing breakups to create the impression that the separation was amicable.
Differing Inauguration Approaches
On Jan. 14, the Obamas released what they said was a “Statement from the Obamas” to announce the news that Barack would be attending Trump’s inauguration while Michelle would not. However, the statement was written from the perspective of Barack, as it used phrases such as “Michelle and I.” Curiously, the statement ended with a pointed remark about extending grace to those who you disagree with: “But progress requires us to extend good faith and grace – even to people with whom we deeply disagree.”
Evidently, given her decision to skip the inauguration, Michelle is of a different perspective. She dispatched several allies to communicate anonymously to media outlets that she had skipped the occasion to make the statement that Trump is not worthy of the office. People magazine reported: “[A] source familiar with her thinking tells PEOPLE that the former first lady would not want to fake a smile for someone whom she still considers a threat to American democracy.” The Hill reported that allies of the former first lady said that Michelle “wants nothing to do with a man undeserving of the presidency and is making no effort to hide her disdain for Trump.” No official reason for her absence from the inauguration was given.
When Michelle skipped Jimmy Carter’s funeral, CNN reported an inexplicable reason for her absence from such an important event: She was on an “extended vacation” in Hawaii.
Notably, in past years when Barack and Michelle have vacationed in Hawaii over the holidays, they have been spotted out together. However, this was not the case this year.
Longtime Marital Strife
Both Barack and Michelle have publicly spoken about problems in their marriage.
In his book Promised Land, Barack wrote that Michell’s reaction to him sitting down with her to talk about running for president was to say, “God, Barack … When is it going to be enough?” Barack related that Michelle then got up, went to the bedroom, and closed the door. Their troubles continued. Barack wrote that throughout his time in office, he felt an “undercurrent of tension in her, subtle but constant.”
Michelle’s detailing of their marital strife paints an even bleaker picture.
At a roundtable discussion in 2022, Michelle said, “[T]here were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.” Michelle explained that she was resentful that she had to spend time raising their kids at the expense of her career. “And for 10 years while we’re trying to build our careers and, you know, worrying about school and who’s doing what and what, I was like, ‘Ugh, this isn’t even,’” she said, adding, “And guess what? Marriage isn’t 50/50, ever, ever.” Michelle worked full-time when her children were young, but she has stated that she bore more child-raising responsibilities than her husband.
The Potential Shockwave of an Obama Divorce
It’s a terrible thing whenever any couple gets a divorce, so one can only hope that the rumors are unfounded and the Obamas are simply going through a rough patch and spending less time together than a married couple should.
If the rumors are true, and the Obamas are contemplating such a decision, it would send shockwaves throughout the country. The two are viewed by many on the left — as well as by many women who are apolitical — as the model marriage for the entire nation. There’s even an entire romance movie, Southside With You, based on their relationship. The legacy of Barack Obama is closely tied to Michelle Obama, as she played an important role in personalizing him as a family man with strong values who was committed to working with others to achieve “hope” and “change.” A divorce would change how his presidency is viewed.
Since leaving the White House, Michelle has harnessed her fame by becoming a star motivational author for women. Her most recent book, for example, is Overcoming: A Workbook, which “presents creative activities, reflective writing prompts, habit tracking tools, and more to provide the ultimate guide to unlocking your small power, sharing your whole self, showing up in relationships, and of course, ‘going high.’” Were she and Obama to get a divorce, American women would hopefully question her advice. Possibly, however, an Obama divorce would do much to undermine Americans’ belief in the indissolubility of marriage and sacredness of the marital bond. Given Michelle’s role as a role model for American women, an Obama divorce could help promote the feminist myth that divorce is liberating for women.
One good thing the Obamas did was present a positive image of marriage and family. If they back away from that, well, there would be little left to admire.