Everything has become pink, childish and pastel, like the brain of one Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Barbie invades everything with its child-alluring aesthetics, the confident smiles of the grown-ups. It has permeated billboards and storefronts; it has infiltrated major brand fashion lines; and, even the Google screen, when you search for “Barbie” or “Greta Gerwig” or “Margot Robbie,” goes pink, and its logo adopts the popular doll’s color while playful stars burst all over the screen. We could just be witnessing a great marketing campaign, but it is worse: We are facing the mass manipulation of children’s minds, perhaps the biggest we have ever seen, and I bet — with great pain — my right testicle that it is only the first of a coming stream of ideological content carried out with the help of AI.

The movie is feminist trash, but that surprises no one. And Greta Gerwig has managed to destroy yet another American children’s icon. But it is not the typical film full of truisms; its danger lies in its subtlety — first, by taking for granted a deformed vision of the world, that of the post-woke cosmos, and not even stopping to question it; and second, by putting into the heads of girls between 5 and 12 years old the depressing idea that being a woman sucks and that men are Satan, thus stealing all innocence and happiness from millions of female viewers and ushering them into an underworld of resentment, ugliness, depression, and hatred. 

It is, however, the usual left-wing thing: If they feel poor, they preach hatred of the rich; if they feel black, they preach hatred of the white; if they feel ugly, they preach hatred of the beautiful. Progressive ideas are unsustainable except by virtue of an enemy — often imaginary, always guilty. They have resorted to guilt as a psychological weapon since time immemorial. And now, the new culprits will be girls who like to dress well, feel feminine, be reasonably pretty, and not have the same waist circumference as Al Gore. 

“It’s just a children’s movie!” a mother I know told me yesterday, while skipping off to the cinema with her three little girls aged 5, 6, and 10. She didn’t appreciate my warning her, and, to tell you the truth, I was left wondering if, under her very same reasoning, tomorrow she might not take the kids to see the porno version of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland because, after all, it is also a “children’s movie.”

Many conservative critics have been able to read Barbie’s repugnant undertones, while others are being strangely condescending with the story. The Left knows how to do these things, and, above all, it knows what audience it is targeting — children, the most vulnerable — and it does so with something that, for their parents, is a harmless children’s icon wrapped in a dollhouse aesthetic, even if it has transvestites and sex dolls walking around inside.

However, I am amazed that none of these critics, colleagues from the conservative press, have been able to see that this is an experiment in social engineering, not a film. And everything, including the immense simultaneous global marketing campaign, seeks to validate the film, its content, and a way of life that is radically incompatible with the values we defend on the right, from family, goodness, or beauty, to freedom, truth, or love. 

Of course, we men are left as insensitive sex maniacs, oppressors, and future abusers, who are hardly granted a quarter of a neuron to be distributed among every hundred thousand of us. But what do you want? It is obvious that Greta took inspiration from those around her in Hollywood. 

Be that as it may, millions of girls around the world will enter the movie theater as women and leave as imaginary victims. More malleable and unstable minds for the puppeteers of the left. More future broken hearts and truncated lives for the psychiatrists’ field hospital. More irrational and unjust hatred against parents, siblings, and, if it comes to it, boyfriends.

And I’ll wrap up with this reminder: If you think it’s not such a big deal investing your money in going to this movie, remember that with every penny Barbie earns, you will be somehow financing Greta Gerwig’s next cultural offensive, Trashing Snow White; I can already imagine a black, trans Snow White, gay orgies with dwarfs of every possible hue, half of them female, on a crusade against the intolerable machismo and homophobia of the Brothers Grimm.

Translated by Joel Dalmau.