Take a deep breath. I will join you, now that my new lung can do it.

Inhale. H-h-h-h-h.

Exhale. Ph-ph-ph-ph-ph.

Inhale. H-h-h-h-h.

Exhale. Ph-ph-ph-ph-ph.

Ah, the sweet smell of election season!

Guess who are becoming Republican conservatives for a few months now? Oh, not literally GOP — just some conservative-fragranced cologne and underarm deodorant. All of a sudden, the smell of Liberal Democrat rot is smothered. And the sweet blossoms of conservatism permeate the air.

Didja guess who? If not, you obviously did not read my recent article in your and my favorite political opinion publication (i.e., this one). May I quote myself? Thanks!

“Politicians on both sides now are covering up everything they have done so as to clean their records for the voters. They all lie, especially during Election Season. Watch Jon Tester of Montana and Joe Manchin of West Virginia cover up how their two votes have given Democrats the Senate majority (51–49 and not 49–51), allowing for the disaster of the past three years at the gas pump, the southern border, the grocery shelves, and in judicial selections all the way up to that grossly unqualified charlatan who cannot define what a woman is. For the next 13 months, almost all American politicians will be firmly with Israel.”

Don’t believe me, that I predicted that so spot-on and in print? As “The Ol’ Perfesser,” Casey Stengel, used to say: You could look it up.

So here is a news item that appeared less than 36 hours after my prediction was published officially. (When I make predictions, I do not dally. They happen pronto.):

Democrats join Republican push for Biden Administration to Refreeze $6B Iranian Assets

Sens. Jon Tester and Joe Manchin said Tuesday they support refreezing the Iranian assets

Some Democratic Senators are joining Republicans in calling on the Biden administration to refreeze the $6 billion in Iranian assets that were released last month, after Hamas attacked Israel [emphasis mine].

Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont, posted about his support of freezing the $6 billion in Iranian assets to the social media platform X on Tuesday.

“As American intelligence officials continue to investigate the terrorist attacks carried out by Hamas, we should review our options to hold Iran accountable for any support they may have provided,” the senator said. “At a minimum, we should immediately freeze the $6 billion in Iranian assets and explore other financial tools we have at our disposal.” …

Another Democrat, Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va, told Politico on Tuesday he, too, supported refreezing the $6 billion in assets.

“I wasn’t supportive of the initial $6 billion transfer,” he told the publication. “We should absolutely freeze these Iranian assets while we also consider additional sanctions.”

Tester’s latest six-year U.S. Senate term is winding down in Montana. He is a knee-jerk liberal Democrat who has voted forever-and-a-day reliably with Obama and now Joe Biden. In the United States Senate that is governed by a 51-49 Democrat majority (on days when Fetterman shows up wearing clothing), his vote and that of Joe Manchin, another liberal wolf in conservative sheep’s clothing, is the entire difference between a split Congress with a Democrat Senate and Republican House or a completely GOP-controlled House and Senate. If Manchin and Tester did not kowtow to Kamala and Uncle Joe, the Senate would be 51-49 Republican, and so much pain and sorrow that Americans have suffered these past three years could have been avoided or ameliorated. Their voters in Tester’s Montana and Manchin’s West Virginia are probably the most reliably and uniformly conservative voters in America for almost every state office. But Tester and Manchin keep slithering through.

The voters of Montana and West Virginia know what they want, and then they get hoodwinked. In truth, they deserve it because they shamefully are that consistently gullible and susceptible. The problem is that their statewide foolishness hurts all of us everywhere else. So how do Tester and Manchin get away with it, drawing Republican conservative votes to the liberal Democrat ballots, thereby destroying America by providing the critical edge for Democrat liberalism in the upper chamber? Simple: They go back to their constituents’ localities every sixth year and tell their voters that they are every bit as right-wing as the in-state electorate is. They tell them the equivalent of this:

“Look, here is what I just did this week. I signed a resolution calling America a good place to live. Then I told AOC to bug off. I stood during the National Anthem. Last week, I signed a resolution saying illegal immigration is bad (just after voting to back Biden’s immigration policies). Then I voted to name a post office in Bozeman or Charleston for Ronald Reagan and to name two people’s mailboxes for George Bush I and George Bush II. I even voted for a postage stamp to carry the face of Nancy Reagan or Rush Limbaugh. So send me back to Washington, close your eyes knowing you are in good conservative hands, and I’ll be seein’ ya in six years.”

And, by golly — it works!  Unbe-freaking-lievable! It works every single time. It’s like three-card monte in Times Square. The drug pusher sets up a portable table, whips out some notched playing cards and a plastic cup, sets his son in the audience, and starts making $10 bets (or, for Mitt Romney, $10,000 bets) on the much-vaunted “red card” — until the cops show up. Tester and Manchin are the three-card montes of the United States Senate. They even should change their names: Monty Tester and Monty Manchin (the latter sweetly alliterative, at that). And, like the famous Monty, they even can offer the voters three doors to choose from:

“Where will you find the real Republican — behind Door One, Door Two, or Door Three?”

And the answer is: It depends on the election-cycle year. If it is during any of the first five years of the Senate term, all three doors have Obama in it. And in the sixth year — boing! — it’s Sean Hannity behind Door One. Tucker behind Door Two. And a big red MAGA hat behind Door Three.

So now, after their man in the White House agreed to send $6 billion to Iran by a sleight of hand via South Korea, along come some Arab Muslim Nazis called “Hamas,” who massacre more Jews in one day than has happened on any other day since the German Nazi Hitler-Eichmann-Goebbels Holocaust, and suddenly Tester and Manchin are against the $6 billion payout their man agreed to with their support.

It was they who gave us porous borders and many million more illegal immigrants. It was they who gave us that utterly unqualified Supreme Court Whatsername who cannot even define what a woman is, though she was selected only because she is a Woman of Color. It is they who take their locals for yokels. They are the reason the Senate is 51-49 Democrat instead of 51-49 Republican.

And we will see in 13 months whether they honestly have the citizens of Montana and West Virginia pegged correctly as the 2024 American poster children for “Local Yokel of the Year.”

It is nice that they now are opposed to $6 billion to Iran, now that the money’s transfer already is in the pipeline. More than 130 Israelis now being held hostage by Hamas want to thank them for their sudden courage — only they can’t because they now are being held hostage by Hamas. And more than 1,000 murdered Israeli civilians want to thank them, too — only they can’t because they now are dead.

So the voters of Montana and West Virginia will have to thank them the “American Way” — by kicking them out. Finally.