Americans prefer presidents who are married with kids.
In fact, James Buchanan was the only unmarried president, and one of only five (along with Washington, James Madison, Andrew Jackson, and James Polk) who did not have children.
This rule applies even to liberal women in positions of power: Ruth Bader Ginsburg was married for nearly 60 years until her husband’s death, and had two children and four grandchildren; Hillary Clinton has Bill, Chelsea, three grandchildren, and numerous pets; Elizabeth Warren has been married to her second husband since 1980, has two children, three grandchildren and a dog; Nancy Pelosi married her college sweetheart back in the Stone Age, has five children, nine grandchildren and dogs; and even A.O.C. has a fiancé and a French bulldog.
Americans want leaders who have long-term, loving partners and children. Even having pets demonstrates some kind of natural warmth or caring instinct—the same evidence of humanity one hopes to see in their leader.
Which makes Kamala Harris a unique outlier in American politics.
When she was elected Attorney General of California in 2011, she wasn’t married and had neither children nor pets. In late 2013, five months before announcing her bid to replace Barbara Boxer as U.S. Senator, she married entertainment lawyer Doug Emhoff—a man who had already ruined his first marriage to Hollywood film producer Kerstin by carrying on an affair with his daughter Ella’s teacher.
Emhoff was a perfect casting choice.
With the kids from his first marriage basically grown, Harris wouldn’t be burdened with changing diapers or teaching anyone how to ride a bike. The optics of two ambitious lawyers creating a partnership of their own made sense, especially as she embarked on the transition to the national political stage. When you read interviews in which she discusses their relationship, the insinuation is clear that Harris pushed for a quick engagement. An election cycle has deadlines after all.
From the beginning, Emhoff was the consummate supporting actor—a cheerleader and non-threat when it came to upstaging Harris. If anything, he came across as an immature flatterer, doing Zoolander “Blue Steel” faces during interviews, getting overly excited that his wife publicly wished him a happy birthday and acknowledged their anniversary on her Instagram, yammering about how she gave him a shout-out on X.
As if anticipating a question of whether Harris reciprocated his affection, Emhoff told Glamour: “For the record, Kamala is so supportive of me behind the scenes. Now she’s starting to be a little more public with it. She’s tweeting about it more. Like for our anniversary and my birthday, I’m like, “Wow, okay!” But behind the scenes she is so loving and supportive of me, and the kids will attest to that.”
Can we say, “cringe?”
Though everyone from Trump to internet trolls has made crude comments about Harris’s history of relationships with powerful men, Emhoff has been reluctant to defend his wife. Bizarrely, none of it seems to offend dear Dougie. One interviewer went so far as to ask Emhoff: “I’m just curious… I think I’d be pissed off, and I’m just wondering, how do… not really go off and not really push back hard at these things?”
Emhoff replied:
“We don’t have time to be pissed off. We don’t have time to focus on it, it’s all a distraction. It’s designed to try to get us off our game…. you’ve seen us before…lot of happy couple talk. We love each other dearly, we love being around each other, we enjoy it, we have fun together. Right now, we’re deferring that kind of happy couple time, because everything we talk about right now is, what else can we be doing to win this election? Where else can we go, how can we make sure that we are getting the word out? And that’s it, because, like said, the stakes are too high, so all that other stuff you’re talking about bounces off, it’s just a distraction, we’re not gonna let it distract us.”
Personally, I don’t know a husband who wouldn’t feel compelled to defend his wife’s honor, no matter how trivial or ridiculous the accusations. Where are the deeper waters behind Madame Vice President and her Second Gentleman? Do they fight? Disagree?
We don’t know. But I think that’s the point.
All the stories of romance and public displays of affection seem like attempts to portray a scripted idea of marriage rather than a real one, fabricated to imitate real love when, at its core, this is a partnership and business deal—a shared bid for greater power.
When asked how they thought their father would adjust to life in Washington, D.C., Emhoff’s son said of his father: “I think Doug is a bit of a chameleon, and that’s why everyone loves him. Like, he can fit in in any room…I think of all people, Doug was like randomly born for this.”
That might be the most honest thing any Emhoff has ever said in an interview.
Doug is, indeed, a chameleon. Most actors are. But this playacting duo has a terrifying goal—to take their performance to the international stage that is The White House as the stars and producers of their very own show.
What could possibly go wrong?
In the words of Austen’s Lady Catherine DeBourgh from Pride and Prejudice, “Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?!”
I sincerely hope not.
Tiffany Marie Brannon is a political strategist and the writer and host of the TMB Problems podcast.