Tuesday is International Mother Language Day, the day I celebrate the simile, my favorite comparative literary device. Metaphor, simile’s abrupt step-brother, provides decent bang for the buck, but like butter, similes are smoother. Not only do they help distill and express complex ideas. They’re fun language in which to frolic.

While similes mix within other writing as agreeably as spirits in cocktails, sometimes, like shots, they’re fun to take down entirely on their own. International Mother Language Day seems an apt time—perhaps the only time—to test my thesis, dear reader, on you:

Would more frequent use of similes, not just on International Mother Language Day but every day, summon smiles and scatter scowls as gratuitously as unsolicited alliteration? As sure as death and taxes, I believe so.